letter 52

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"Dear Jb,

I am not afraid anymore that one day I won't wake up but I am afraid that one day I won't be able to see your eyes and your smile.

I'll always love those even though I wish I didn't.

My doctor came to see me today and he has that same look---that look full of sympathy. He doesn't have to say a word for I already know. I know he's going to say I'm not getting any better and there's a slim chance I'll still live.

My mom is crying again and I couldn't take it anymore. I want her sufferings to already end and so are mine. I already feel like wanting to die already.

But I'm still waiting...

Love, Jamie."

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