I Remember You

Its you"

no matter what ive told myself about us, and what im telling myself, that it was just.....temporary desire for both of us, but....

"it will be always for me, heaven that ive never thought i will made sins in".

in my deep i believed that i shouldnt fell in love with u to not get hurt at the end , so i tried just to get with ur flow , enjoy time with u , do what ever u want me to do, but never to fall in love cz u will have to leave someday....

i wantted u so bad, but i couldnt let myself get hurt again.

though it hurt ,the fact of not being realy yours..

12 may 2016

dont get schoked but me, alexa, always telling you the stories of me and my handsome boy, Collin , so when u see that thers no introduction for my chptrs or the caracteres , its obviouse , that its about my real life, with every single detail on it, imideitly when it happens , so u should go read my other books, to get know more about my life with caracters ....

here we go ;

me and u , well ...i dont know how to discribe it, but i wasnt ur girlfriend , i accepted that , only to be with u , but it hurt me, in everysingle day , i was with u , everything u asked from me , i was accepting it to not lose u , i accepted the idea of not being ur everything, not even ur gfriend , only to have you....

its not the fact that u didnt want that, but u couldnt, u wont be able, but at least u could do smthg"!!, i know, what u did, you was all time trying to not lose me, as the most exiting thing u had, but in my deep i was doing it for u not for me.

i had a lot of chances to be with others and in everytime i was refusing it , even before u came, but when i met u , i let off all my basics, and did what ive never done, only because of u , because i wanted to have u .

the last time, we had a fight , i got sad from ur last words, of being apart , for the last time, u were all time getting made and gone for days and weeks, then getting back, asking me to be what u want , i will never stay mad at u even the reason of the fight was u at first , but its u who came back in everytime prooving that im something special to u ....

this time , was diffrent, u said , it was crazy thing from the begining , and we could stay friend, the painfull side was, "being friends"" part, and the wierd one was, how u still wanting"" me as a friend , what the thing u still want from me as a friend..
Collin that i know , never end a seriouse situation without getting really mad, cursing, puting blame....but this was Collin that i've never knew ...u said that very quietly , clean words, not even , trying to puting me away from u ..u didnt mentioned that i should be away from u and nothing would , bring us together again .

i've stayed away for weeks now, it hurt all the time not just at first , and ive never forgot u .

today was the last day at my exams , before last year students big test , i didnt thought a lot , but suddenly, i went to my friend's house, then only when she opened the door , she said direclty smthg, ;""i will chearing for this"" i was suprising by what she could mean , from how much i was scared it will be smthg bad, speacialy when she added;"" that thing on facebook!!"".

wooo wait a min, what does that mean , i asked her , then she shocked me, its a smthg posted on facebook said ;"" i love her #N,"" by the one and only i didnt expect COLLIN , omg ....

first i wasnt able to think , or if i had to cry , or dont believe it, but a rush came through my skin ,as i hugged my friend from happiness, then i thought, i shouldnt be happy that much , it might be another girl, at the same time , im the only one who write posts with #SIGN ...""

smthg tell me to not ask or do anything i will just let things happen, at the end it's Collin, he could , would , do anything, he can change his mind in seconds, and he can hold on an idea, for the rest of his life , cz thats how we are , from my town "BT", its hard to change our minds, unless, if we, or he " is reaaaly in love.

heyy how the first chpyr is going so faaaar, vote plzzz

Alexaaa love u all , c u bayy