I am tired of it all! I scream and scream, but no one is there to listen. I try reaching for help, and all of a sudden I have no friends. You have a problem, oh look, I am visible now, hey, would you mind hearing me out? No? Oh, ok. Imma just act as if that didn't affect me. Hey look, I am adding new drawings to my gallery.
Drawings
I am a girl who loves to draw
I draw at night and out of sight
You see, my drawings are differen't
No paper or pen
But I need a bandage then and again.
I met a boy who I fell in love.
And he took me by the river.
He looked at my feet and
Rolled up his sleeves, and
Whispered in my ear,
"I draw too."
Why can't people just leave me be? Why can't I be myself, though who is me? I am not a girl nor am I a boy. I am a mixture of both. I look like a girl, act like a boy, think like both and feel like none. I am apparently an outsider, but I have many friends. Who knows what I am. Does it really even matter? We are all gone in the end. I just give up. I am tired of having to keep up a personality that is mine, but is a covering. I am just tired, and my elementary/junior high school didn't help at all. This high school, it's better but now the outside world seems to be against me.
Does it matter if I die? No one will remember me. And the person who supposedly loves me, that won't forget me, supposedly, is an online stranger from an MPG. Screw my life. I am better online than from face-to-face. IF only I was able to use internet 24/7 will I be appreciated by many. But nooo, I have to live a realistic life.
My parents expect me to be something I can't. It is sad to have to wear another mask at home, just to please my parents. Then I go online, and I still wear a mask for some people. I go outside, hey look, people expect me to be a whole other thing. What am I supposed to do? I feel like my only option is death. How ironic, no?
Apparently, I am an attention-whore because I am suicidal. Whore: A person who seeks sex everyday and has an ego. The person's ego makes them feel as if they need more than one sex partner. Attention: People who are centered and has the spotlight on them. Ok, so I don't have the spot light on me, quite the opposite in my case, and I do not have an ego of sex. So no, I am not an attention-whore. But people like to label people, so I am one, I guess.
What if the world was to burn dead? Any Catholics out there? Yea, I read the Bible. The book of Revelation quite fascinates me. So much destruction and death, all because of the stupidity of humanity. It'd be nice to go out and burn each person to death. Like, anyone watch Criminal Minds? Yea, I fantasize a lot.
Ok, I just finished talking to a "friend". Apparently, I know nothing of him, all his words are lies. I knew it. No one cares for me. Might as well just die. Right here, right now.
