I’d always been a believer in the fact that if I wanted to lose my virginity, I’d want it to be a moment. A moment where all I would want would be for this man to fuck me, to be so turned on and wet that I wouldn’t care about the pain, about the aftermath, about anything but the sensations of sex.
But sadly, by the time I was 18, I hadn’t found it. I was even more desolate by the time I hit 20. No man, no woman, could ever do better for me than I could do for myself. My friends told me to give it time. They said that soon I’d feel the passion, but I never did.
And eventually I hit routine. I went to work and went to school. I left no time for anything, knowing that nine times out of ten, I would go home disappointed. Whether that was my fault or theirs, it didn’t matter. I had given up on any passion, and settled for contentment.
But on the night of my 21st birthday, my friends had had enough. Alexis, Ryan, and Alec had decided that I was done staying in and giving up. Ryan was visiting from one city over, and Ace was back on a vacation from a college two states away. It was a time for fun with friends. Alexis destroyed my closet in a whirlwind to find me something to wear, and then started doing my hair. At my request, she didn’t do makeup. I disliked makeup, it was always cakey, flaky, and itchy.
Ryan and Alec waited in my living room. They had come ready, Ryan in a dark blue button up and jeans, and Alec in a white tee and a black leather jacket. I could hear the sports from my room as they killed time waiting for us.
“I swear, what is it about boys and sports?” I asked Alexis.
“It’s a macho thing.” She laughed. “Strange to us, but not to them.”
“The wonders of the male mind.”
“Totally.” She paused, and then said. “Listen Leanna, I don’t care what you do tonight. I just want you to have fun. Let go and just feel.”
“I’ll try.” I grinned. “How can I not with all of the boys visiting?”
Alexis got a twinkle in her eye, and no matter how I begged, she wouldn’t tell me what was on her mind. I gave up and sat in silence until my hair was done. Then, we left to rescue the boys from the land of football and hit up the club round the corner.
It was a strange feeling, leaving the room. I was more exposed than I had ever been. Alec’s mouth hung open when he saw me. I could only assume that he wasn’t used to seeing me like this. My sleeveless, backless, blood red shirt was cut dangerously low, reaching just above my bellybutton. My tight ebony skirt went a few inches past my ass which made me scared of bending over. But the best part was the crimson stiletto heels that I was still walking in after a few minutes. And all of this matched perfectly with my brown hair and dark eyes. I had to hand it to Alexis. She definitely knew her shit.
“Mouth closed.” I smirked at Alec, feeling newfound confidence. Winking at Alexis, she got a slow grin on her face.
“Well, let’s go before the line becomes abominable.” She chirped. Linking her arm through mine she whispered in my ear, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten he was your high school crush. This teasing may or may not be a joke to him, but I know it isn’t to you. Be careful.”
I nodded, but I knew Alec. He couldn’t like me, because I was me. We were best friends and that’s how we would stay.
Alexis and I sashayed outside and down the block with the boys following.
“Hey, wait up for us.” Ryan said. “We don’t want to lose you two before the night ends. And you promised me a dance Lexi.”
