Rock Bottom

abandonment

We talked about my nightmares, about how I woke up in tears from a dream of you leaving me. How everyone I love leaves me, forcing me into a box of fear. You coax me into a sense of protection. You make me feel safe and like you'll never leave me. Yet when I'm still shaking and afraid to be touched you ask me to leave. You litterally leave me for someone better. As I walked out your door two tears fell. I got home dry eyes and no red face. Hours past and suddenly I burst into tears. You phyco analyzed me as if I were a patient. Then left me high and dry like everyone else has. I laid in bed shaking, crying uncontrollably, and hyperventilating. I couldn't calm down. Who do you go for help when everyone who helps you has abandoned you? How do you calm down when you head is flooding with negative thoughts that fuel your breakdown? Even in writing this a few tears run down my cheek. When your head is throbing and you feel your heart ripping in two, please tell me how you calm yourself down with no one to help you.