Daydreams?

Chapter 1- Promises are Made to be Broken

"Honey, what's wrong? You've barely touched your food. I thought spaghetti was your favorite." My grandma watched as I picked around at my plate, nibbling on it occasionally.

"It is. It's just that I'm not that hungry." My thought were returning to the strange dream. It had all seemed so real. I wish that I had been nicer to the thing in my dream. I mean, what if it had been Landon? I doubt it was, but if it had been, he would have reacted to my aggravation in the same way as the thing had.

"Alright sweetheart. I'll put some up for you. How about you go get some rest? It's been a long day for all of us." I nodded, leaving the delicious plate of pasta on the table, ignoring the amazing scent that seemed to follow me.

***

The blankets swallowed me as I settled down, turning on the playlist Landon and I had created shortly before he had died. I held back the tears as his favorite song, Living Louder, came on.

"It's about living without regrets Ali," he would explain, "It's exactly how I want to live my life. I want to live full speed ahead, ignoring the negativity and just loving every second, every breath I have."

I listened closely to the lyrics, clinging to every word.

If today's the day I die,

lay me down underneath the lights,

let me look up at the stars,

because it's where we all belong.

That was one of his favorite lines. "Just let me live life while I can, and when I die, lay me where I would see the lights. I always want to be buried right here. Don't forget it, don't let me be buried in any of the graveyards. I want to be here." He would always put his hand on the ground where we laid. It was the perfect place. A meadow, far from civilization. It was our place, and no one was allowed to come here, except us. "Promise that you'll come lay with me if you're still alive. I just want you to come so that you can talk to me. I'll listen, I promise. If I can, I'll even answer." He would flash me his bright smile, and look back to the moon. "We're friends forever, right Ali?" I would always answer him with yes, no matter what was going on.

But those days are gone now.

"Ali, Ali, wake up!" I opened my eyes, seeing Landon. I opened my mouth to scream, but his hand flew to my mouth.

"Be quiet! Do you want to get caught?!" I peeled his hand from my mouth, sighing and rolling my eyes.

"It's you again. What is with my imagination putting you into my dreams?"

"I don't know. I think you're awake though." He smiled, and I looked at him, shocked.

"You're alive?!" I touched his face, feeling his cool skin underneath my warm hands.

"Imagination does crazy things Ali. I told you I was here to stay until you find out what happened to, well, Landon." I let my hands fall from his face.

"I hate imagination." He smiled, grabbing my wrist. He went to the closet, pointing to it expectantly.

"Well? Are you going to change so we can go or what?" I complied, pulling a hoodie over my tank top. I turned, motioning for him to look away while I changed my pants. He may be a figment of my imagination, but he's still a boy. He moaned, irritated, before turning around as he was told. I pulled on some dark jeans, pulling my hair up before he turned back around.

"Where are we going?" I asked him, tiptoeing down the stairs carefully, knowing that some of them will creak if you hit the right place.

Creak. I groaned, knowing that I had just hit the last stair. I jumped down, running to the closet underneath the staircase as I heard my grandpa stirring. His heavy footsteps echoed throughout the house, unnerving me more with each step. I stepped back, trying to hide myself in the coats into the closet.

"Must've just been Alice," He muttered, probably a bit disappointed, since he would have brought his baseball bat to protect himself. I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard his loud footsteps going back upstairs.

"Well, wasn't that exciting?" Landon asked loudly.

"Landon!" I whispered loudly. "They might hear you." He gave me a wry smile, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"I'm just your imagination, remember?"

"You're a jerk, you know that? Why does my subconscious have to picture you this vividly?"

"The mind is a magnificent thing." We slid out of the back door, the soft click making little noise against the music of the midnight air in Charleston.

"Ready to go Ali?" I nodded, putting my hands in my pockets as we crossed the street.

"Where exactly are we going?" I looked up at him, hoping he would answer with my favorite place.

"Our secret hideout." He smiled at the moon, his pale skin almost translucent as the bright light shone down on him. Unfortunately, this wasn't Landon. This wasn't my Landon. It was just a picture that had been imprinted forever in my mind.

***

"Here, lay down." I obeyed, feeling the cool layer of water the night had left o the grass. He laid by my side, knowing that's what we always did. "Now, just talk."

"What?" I gave him a confused look as he chuckled a bit, his smile even wider now that I had made him laugh.

"Talk to me. I'm just going to listen. It'll be like you promised me." The tears stung the corners of my eyes, but I nodded.

"Alright. So today was really hard. I was almost scared to come here. It's closer to our place, within walking distance, but it's also close to where we made all our promises, laughed, talked, cried, everything. This is where all of our memories are, and I just... I don't know. I feel like I've committed a crime, coming here without you. I broke my promises too. I watched as they buried your empty casket in a normal graveyard, which was the exact opposite of what you wanted. I had always thought that it would be hard losing you, but I never imagined something as hard as this. I didn't even get a goodbye, I don't even know where you are! What happened to our promises? I just want to know why you left, why you left me, why it had to be you, why you never said goodbye, why? Why Landon? Why did you do that to your best friend?!" I stood in a heated rage and met a pair of blue eyes looking at me. They widened when I spotted them, and turned back to the darkness of the night. The crunching of dead leaves, the crack of small twigs, the noises all signaled a spy on the run. I didn't bother to follow. They could go tell the world for all I care. My tears were flowing freely, and it felt like they wouldn't be stopping for a long time.

"I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" That cursed imaginary boy asked.

"This. I can't take it! Please, just go."

"But-"

"Go! I don't want you here! I want Landon, not my imagination." The words broke my heart, and my voice cracked. Knowing that he was gone forever, it hurt. It physically hurt, and I don't know that I can ever forget the pain it caused. I can never describe that pain. Only those who have had a deep and traumatic heartbreak can feel that pain. It's impossible for any sad person, only the morose can sympathize. All the promises he made, that I made, that we made, they were gone. Most broken, few kept.

I promise never to leave you. Well, that's out of the picture Landon.

We'll be buried next to one another. Only if I die in the near future.

If you and I aren't married by thirty, we'll marry one another. You'll never turn thirty, not while you're alive at least.

I will be your first kiss. I wish you had the chance to be.

I'll never hurt you. You blew that on right out of the water, didn't you? I've never felt more pain for one person in my life.

"Why can't you just come back Landon?" I sighed, knowing that I would walk home alone from this place for the first time.