Anorexia (#FreeYourBody)

Closure

(Trees by Twenty One Pilots, Live)
for those who are struggling-you will be okay. i promise that you will be okay and that things will get better and i dont care if that sounds cliche because i know it is but please, listen to me-things will get better and when i say that, i mean it. please. stay alive and create because when you are better and are looking back in a few years, you will be able to say that you survived. and it will feel better than good, it will feel like you are on top of the world. so fight through the droughts and hard nights because there are other people struggling with the same problems. just please, stay alive. if not for me, then for yourself. it is worth it.

why am i saying this? well, anorexia ended on a bittersweet note. kind of. november died=sad and bitter and bad. taylor ate=good and okay and nice. the reason i am writing this right now is because of the ending of anorexia. a lot of answers are unanswered, as all of my #freeyourbody books will be, and you never found out what happened to taylor and her mom and everything. when i think of the ending of anorexia, i often think of tyler joseph, the vocalist in the band, twenty one pilots, explaining the song 'trees'. he has said that when he thinks of trees, he usually thinks of finding something, looking for something. he states that in the end of the song, only he knew if he found that thing or not, which is what matters to him. that he knows. i believe that he wrote trees for himself-but that is besides the point. i kind of think of anorexia in the same way-taylor was an anorexic who was insecure about her body and wanted to lose weight-november was a boy in mourning and looking for closure because of the death of his girlfriend. in the end of anorexia, you never know if taylor died or if taylor stayed alive or if she ran away, etc.-you dont know why november killed himself, although you think you know why, you dont, because novembers mind, like mine, is complex and there was a lot of reasons why he did it. in the end of anorexia, you never find out those things because it doesnt matter. what matters is that taylor knows what happened to her and she knows whether or not she got better. she knows what happens to herself and thats all that matters. so no, im not going to tell you what happens to taylor because it doesnt matter-what matters is the fact that two broken teenagers fell in love and helped each other stay alive, even if one of them ended up dead, they fell in love-they tried being 'normal' teenagers and fitting into societys stereotypes. they tried. so i hope that you people reading this understand the purpose of this book and why i ended it the way i did. and i hope that this explanation gave you some type of closure.

-chandler