It's been about 5 years since I felt this way about Ash. A soon as i met him like had a crush but after 2 years of suffering it went away. But lately I have been having dreams. Usually when other people come into my dreams they end up dead in the end. But this time is different. He stayed with me till the very end.
Why him? Why did it have to be Ash. The one person I have to see every single day of my life with no days off. After my dream last night i'm not sure if I will be able to ever look him in the eyes again. After years of my Grandmother bugging me to date him my body is now telling me. But why is it telling me to date him now?
I'm just afraid of messing things up like I always do somehow. Especially since was the first person that talked to me after I moved here. Along with the fact that our families are very close. How could I ask him out any way. I mean my family will make fun of me and him in the end.
But that is if he where to say yes. He could just reject me from the start. I don't talk to him very much after I stopped playing soccer with him. Yes we do see and talk everyday. But it's just not the same anymore. There is this distance between us now.
As I hear " wow! up already?" I look at my clock
Then reply "Yeah, I had trouble sleeping last night"
With a sleepy voice my grandmother says " I wonder why?"
I just stare back at her in the dark "I guess we will never know"
"Well since you are up you should start to get ready soon. You have to get to school early today for Jazz band"
I moan as my stiff joints stretch when I slowly get out of my hard bed covered in blankets and pillows. I start to walk to the bathroom and start the shower wondering if Ash will show up for Jazz band today. He has not missed a day yet. But knowing him he will miss sooner or later.
