The Secrets Within

Chapter 1.

"Grips on you're waist" I sing, bobbing my head to the music.

"Front way, back way".

"You know that I don't play".

I sing along to the music, beating on my steering-wheel to match the beat of the song, showing how much of a life I don't have.

Me- Joline Hinderway- driving down the express way in South Carolina, in my dead dad's old beetle. What's more of a way to put away your problems?

But if I were to tell you my story then you'd only look at me with self pity, so in respect to your feelings as well as mine i'll only tell you a little.

I'm a 19 year old, who has no care in the world. Who'd rather read a book in a snuggle then look like a whore and have a cool beer pressed to her lips.

I'd rather go to the freaking book store then go shopping with a bunch of friends that I don't have. I'd rather go to South Carolina then stay in New York and get the abuse from my run down mom and her boy-toys.

The ones she's always sticking up for than her own flesh and blood.

And, finally, i'd rather push the thought of my dad deep in my heart then mourn over his death. But, what can I say?

I'm Joline Hinderway. The girl that everybody held pity somewhere in their hearts.

But when has that every stopped someone, making fun of me. My hair was to long. My blond hair too blonde.

My frame to small.

Oh, and the list does go on, but too long to tell.

Back to the story..

As I drive around I see two different hotels; American Suites Inn and Main Stay Suites. Main Stay Suites has an Indoor pool, so I went ahead and choose American Suites Inn, and since their quiet time is at 12:00

Since it's 11:57 I went ahead and got something to eat, I went to McDonalds to get a burger, fries and a sprite , and I drive back to the hotel.

Once I get there it is 11:59, so I go ahead and check in. I go to my room and I lay there as thoughts pass through my head. A thought passes me ," What am I doing, Where am I going , Why are you even traveling, it's not like anything is going to change". I think , "Maybe it's time you grow up joline!"

A bunch of unanswered questions raid my mind. All of which I don't know the answer to. Maybe, I do. Maybe the truth is too much to handle right now. Maybe its really time for me to move on.

But do I have the mature ability to move on alone? With no support from my mom? Is it really time to think of me as an adult and not put fiction before reality.

Because it seems as if i'm living a nightmare that should be a dream. That I should have woken up from the night my moms 'boyfriend' came into my room. Doing nothing harmful in his eyes.

The night I was tired of putting up with her mess, packed my bag, and decided to find something good in my life.

But so far, nothing good has come besides staying in the 4 walled hotel of American Suits. The paint peeling off the walls, green grime on the sink as well as the toilets, and the only elevator in the whole building with a sign that says IN REPAIR COME LATER.

But along with all the people that stay in this sh*tty hotel that have half of a brain know just as well as me that LATER really means NEVER.

So, is God sending me a sign. That if I am to continue on the path that I am on now, my later will be never?