'Tis Better to Have Loved and Lost

Prologue

Raskaal glared darkly at nothing from beside the unlit fireplace, his coat pulled tight around his chest as he crossed his arms in the dark. His shadowy almond eyes moved very little (Goldwynn, had she been there to notice, might have mentioned that it's impossible for the human eye to stop moving completely) and he occasionally scuffed the ground with his worn boot.

He didn't like having days off. It gave him too much time to think.

As hours plodded on, his only move was to shift his weight slightly from the right to the left. There was no clock in the room to tell him the time, no rising or setting sun shining through the dark curtains. He knew without checking that it was 3:34 pm when, right on schedule, Goldwynn came home, a golden whirlwind of light and activity. She tried to hug her brother.

She might as well have tried to hug the brick wall that he was leaning against.

"Grumpy as usual, are we, Ras?" Goldwynn laughed as she opened all the curtains even though she knew she'd just have to close them again in an hour and a half.

Raskaal just looked at the wall.

"What do you want for dinner?" Goldwynn asked as she danced into the kitchen.

Raskaal just looked at the wall.

Goldwynn dumped some canned beans into a bowl and called it good. "Come eat, Ras!" she sang.

Raskaal just looked at the wall.

Goldwynn sighed and ate the beans by herself. "Staring at the wall isn't going to change anything, Ras," she said.

Raskaal just looked at the wall.

Goldwynn finished eating very slowly, washed the bowl, and closed the curtains back up. "This has got to stop," she said, glaring directly into his eyes. "What happened to you? You used to be... active."

Raskaal turned slightly to the left and looked at the wall.

"Okay, that's it," said Goldwynn. She called Raskaal's employer and explained that he was not coming back into work anytime soon. Then she disappeared into her room with her severely outdated laptop.

Raskaal continued to just look at the wall.

Goldwynn came out again after an hour or so. Raskaal knew without checking that it was 5:03 pm. "Guess what, Ras? You're going on vacation. And we could only afford a one way ticket, so you're going without me and not coming back until you've earned your fare," Goldwynn announced.

Raskaal looked sharply at his sister.

"You leave tomorrow. I'll drive you to the airport. Have fun in Calden," Goldwynn said.

Raskaal sighed. "You know I hate travelling," he growled, rolling his vowels with a strange accent that even after all this time Goldwynn couldn't define. Raskaal knew that he had to go where she told him to, now that he'd failed to stop her. That was their unspoken code. If you don't take action, you don't get options.

"Calden is beautiful this time of year," Goldwynn said, confirming the fact of Raskaal's impending vacation. "Besides, you need a break. You need to go somewhere you haven't been before. You've been in this rut for way too long."

"Maybe you're right," Raskaal grudgingly admitted. Goldwynn was always right. "But this is kind of extreme. I can't just fucking walk back!"

"That's the idea," replied Goldwynn. She whirled into her room to go to bed (though of course she wouldn't sleep until after rereading one of her well-thumbed books), leaving Raskaal to stomp upstairs to sleep in his clothes.