letters to yoongi → yoonmin

Stress;

Dear Yoongi Hyung,
I'm really a horrible boyfriend aren't I? Once again my letter is late. I hope I didn't make you worry too much. Modeling, well it's not as easy as I thought it would be. I've gotten yelled at more then when I accidentally touched Seokjin Hyung's Mario figurines, and we all know how that went. I keep messing up Yoongs, I'm so frustrated with myself. They say my expressions are too stiff, my body doesn't match with the clothes or I'm just not as photogenic as the others. Seokjin Hyung checked up on me yesterday, he was supposed to help me be more comfortable in front of a camera since I just can't seem to make those beautiful expression you used to capture. We didn't do any of that though, I kept begging him to help me but he insisted that we eat first. Why does he want me to eat Yoongi? My body is already too big for the clothes, if I eat anymore I won't be able to fit in them. It was Jin Hyung though, I couldn't refuse he refused to let me refuse. We went out to eat, it was nice, soothing. Different from the hectic life of being a model, everyone running around you trying to make the clothes on your body look appealing. He ordered plenty of food, and just the sight of it.... Yoongs I've never been so disgusted in my life, everything looked revolting. My mind racing at the thoughts of how many calories I would intake with a single bite. I felt that if I even tried to eat that I would gain weight, and gaining weight is practical killing your modeling career. I trudge through, finishing the meal with the only smile I knew how to put on anymore. Faking my joy, faking my laughter, faking my smile. When did I become like this? Jin Hyung had to leave soon after, I had never been so relieved to see him go. When I got home...I, I never thought I would even attempt at doing it but I guess I even manage to surprise myself. I made myself throw up everything, it burned Hyung it burned so badly. My vision was blurry the entire time, the putrid smell of my own vomit attacking my nose. But hey, anything to be as beautiful as I promised right?

-Love, Jimin
P.S I miss you
『3915』