Finding One's Self

Chapter One

I wake up every morning praying to God that today will be better than the last. Contemplating whether or not it's worth it to face the demons of my life, but I must prove them wrong. That words don't hurt, I just brush them off my shoulders like it's nothing. But in reality it's the words and not the bruises that keep me awake at 2 in the morning, thinking of every little insult caused by my tormentors. That's when I let the tears flow freely down my face while smashing my face into the pillow so no one will ever hear me breaking over and over again. Soon enough the tears exhaust me to the point of exhaustion where I let myself fall asleep in my own pool of tears. Everyday I wake up, I put the smile on my face that every has come to know to let the world know that instead of letting the demons control me, I must show them that it takes a lot more than just actions and words to break down my walls. As I sit up and ready myself for the day I say "let the games begin."

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While getting ready for school I look in the mirror trying to pick out any flaws that people may see in me. With my high-low sweater, skinny dark blue jeans, with blue bobs, and to top it off, I added a blues pinkish stylish scarf I look myself up and down in the mirror and I wonder 'what's so wrong with me that people find joy in making me feel worthless.' While making my way to leave my bedroom I pass the quote that hangs on the wall, that helps me get through the toughest of days, "Your alive because you deserve to be.... God didn't put you on this earth because he was bored or because he wanted to laugh at you when you suffer. You're on this earth because you mean something. And you should let people know that you're important instead of letting them bring you down. You're better than you think you are." This quote gives me hope that life will get better.
While walking through the door I brace myself for what's to come.