When We Meet Again

Sophia~

~1 year ago~

This was it.

This was the day she would confess to the boy she truly loved.

She prepared this very day; giving out hints and secret presents to him since the start of the year; asking for advice from her friends; even looking up love quotes and stories to inspire her!

It'll be hard, her friends said to her. Because it's tough to make the first move. But,even though she took careful consideration on their thoughts, She's still going to do it.

So here she was, confident as ever(...well, confident as ever she'll be).

I can do this.

-

"I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings."

"Oh...Okay."

"I'm... I'm-"

"It's okay, really. You don't have to apologize!"

"...Okay, I'll just, um.."

Sophia smiled weakly at her crush as he went back to his group of friends. Once the distance between them was far enough, she looked down at her feet - tears were swelling in her eyes.

This wasn't the first heart break Sophia had, but this particular one seemed to ache more than all the previous ones combined.

Why? was all she can say. Why does this happen to me all the time?

She lifted her head and saw him and his friends staring back at her, whispering to each other and laughing. Quickly, she turned away, as if she never had spotted them.

Pathetic, isn't it?

How pathetic.

And then she ran off.

-

Just smile a tiny bit more, just a little bit..

"I'm going upstairs, mum," Sophia shouted from the hallway. She swiftly walked upstairs and entered her bedroom. Quietly, without making a disturbance, she shut her door.

Her vision became blurry and her knees wobbled as she made her way to the bed on the other side of the room. She Collapsed on the hard mattress, searching for something, someone to support her. But nothing seems to be there.

Sophia cried and cried for help; for company; for love. She let all the tears and silent screams out, unleashing all of her emotions out from her heart and soul. It felt like years before she could calm down the storm.

As she rubbed her tired eyes, she slowly got up. The last remaining sun-light poured into her bedroom, slightly brightening up the gloomy room. Dawn already? I must've slept for a bit.

She dragged herself to the bathroom to clean herself up. As she reached the mirror, she stared into her empty eyes. The brown, earthy eyes she knew used to radiate warmth, but now... they were cold and grey.

This is... this is the consequence of love. When you fall in too deep, you can't escape. You destroy yourself in a endless loop of chasing and forgiving. And, what reward do you get at the end? Nothing.

Then, everything is lost.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Sophia whispered angrily. "Why do I love, when it's so bad for me?"

The refreshing water splashed her red face. She did this several more times to completely cool her head before looking up.

Strange.

Her facial features seem to glow and her hair seemed to be even more shiny than usual. The most strangest change of all was her eyes. No longer it held the kindness and the forgiveness it once had; no longer it held the inspiration and the innocence there, swirling around; no longer it held the same love it used to.

It was soulless and dark - yet, she liked the change.

Maybe - just maybe - if she viewed the earth in a different angle, her problems would be solved.

She would never have to suffer from heart break to heart break ever again, if she never loves.

It might sound quite impossible to not love, but it's the only way to stop the pain.

Yeah... don't love, Sophia whispered to herself.

Don't love

Don't. love.