Junk Stories

Story 4

I saw him standing there, his face aglow. He was surrounded by a group of friends, of girls; he was excited, telling a story, laughing the whole time. The girls, caught up in his charisma, laughed too, even though nothing funny had been said. His bright eyes, distant yet oddly present, as he continues talking look around, almost as if they feel me watching. Yet those bright, beautiful, now inquisitive eyes look past me as I blend into the background. He doesn't find what he appears to be looking for and goes back to talking. One second was not long enough of a distracted moment for the group of girls to notice his attention leave them, to notice the emptiness in the back of his eyes that I have just seen. I turn to my friend beside me, hiding the anguish in my eyes, and start talking and giggling, all the while stealing furtive glances at him. My friend catches me by surprise by a comment, so I laugh - actually laugh, the loud and obnoxious, gut-wrenching laugh that I only express at something truly funny or surprising. He looks up, now knowing what he's looking for: me, and my laugh. I quickly look away, not wanting him to see me; I stop laughing so he won't be able to find me. And I go back to talking and joking with my friend. But now I'm distracted. I keep looking over at him; stealing more and more furtive glances in his direction. I'm not paying as much attention to my friend, and now I see he's as distracted as me. He keeps looking around, harder and harder, trying to catch a glimpse of me. His posse now notices his lack of attention. Upset, they look around trying to see what he's trying to find. They get jealous; touching him, laughing, and joking, they do anything to get his attention again. But he doesn't seem to notice their attempts. Now, he seems to be focused on finding what he's looking for: me.

No longer listening to my friend, I take a step away, trying to hide and blend in so he won't notice I'm there - praying he soon gives up his search. He does. He goes back to the girls, but he's not as interested in their giggling. So I go back to my friend, forcing myself to not look at him again. My friend seems to realize something just happened, seems to notice somethings not right. So she tries to distract me, successfully, too. It's awhile before I look back again. She gets me to laugh, and I don't even think to stop. I just continue laughing - it's nice to laugh again - I continue joking and moving like I normally do when I'm excited. 

I had told myself I wouldn't look, I wouldn't glance in his direction again for the rest of the night, but after awhile, as I'm glancing around, I accidentally look. I don't mean to, I promise. I look and find him already staring at me. He immediately looks away, just to look back again quickly after. This time, it's me that looks away. But now we are both seemingly unable to look at anything else. We both become restless and gradually start shifting toward each other.

My friend, by this, has noticed what I'm doing - what WE'RE doing. As I glance at him again, my friend grabs my chin and forces me to look at her, away from him. Her eyes show concern and worry and emotions that I don't want to see. I'm fine! I won't do anything stupid! But she doesn't seem to believe me. I can't say I blame her - I was the one who didn't listen to advice, who couldn't stay away; I was the one who ended up hurt, who would be willing to get hurt again just to feel something one more time. I am the one who will be hurt the most in the end.

She grabs my hand and starts pulling me away. I reluctantly follow. When looking back at him, I notice he was looking at me, not wanting me to leave. He starts to follow, taking several steps. My friend glares at him, shaking her head. His girls grab his arms, his shoulders, his torso, anything to stop him. We make eye contact as I am dragged away; we look at each other for an eternity; we look at each other for a second before our view is blocked and I turn around. I follow my friend. I continue walking until, even if I do turn around, I won't be able to see him anymore. And finally, I find peace.