Free Fall

I

The girl woke up panting, trying to catch her breath. With her heart pounding against her chest, she looked at the ceiling above her, finding no clouds or the star she thought she saw. Just one of my haunting dreams again, she thought.

Every night, memories from her past visit her. Some nights she sees herself locked in a white room; some nights she hears herself screaming for help but no help comes. It was already four years ago, but her nightmares don't spare her. Tonight, she dreamed of her standing at the very top of a high building, something she know she would never do because of her fear of heights. The cold winds brushing her skin felt real. In her dream, she jumped towards the ground. She flew as she thought of him--- his serene face, his goofy smile, and his eyes that could light up the darkness in her.

It's him again. It has always been him.

She stood up from her bed and went straight to her bathroom. She stripped off her pyjamas, got into the warm shower, and rinsed herself. Her tears flowed with the warm water that washed her body. It has been four years since it happened. The memories flashing through her mind feels just like yesterday. The pain still throbs inside her chest. She hates how four years have already passed but she still feels the same heartache. She thought of moving on again and again but she couldn't leave his memories.

She took her towel and dried herself. In the mirror, her reflection looked like a stranger to her. She barely knows this woman who stands naked in front of her--- pale skin, cracked lips, sad eyes. People say she used to have bright eyes and a charming smile. Her body, too, looked different. She used to have a body to die for, but now she has become skinny like porcelain skin wrapping her bones.

She put her robe on and opened the cabinet above the sink and took one tablet from the plastic container, as what her doctor prescribed. It was anti-depressants. She laughed at the idea of anti-depressants. She has been taking these meds for years already but she still doesn't feel less depressed.

She put make up on, concealing every inch of sadness on her face. She picked a green dress that suits her skin really well and put on a black blazer. But as she was putting on heels when she heard her phone ring.

Someone was calling her and his number was not registered to her phone. She usually finds phone calls from strangers creepy but since she started working, she realized that it might be some of her co-workers calling her and she can't miss phone calls from work.

She picked up the call with a happy tone, "Hello?"

No one responded.

"Hey, who is this?" she asked again.

"Is this Darlene?" the voice answered.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"We need to talk. I was Ivan's friend."