Best Man Sougo

01 - Prologue

The patience of this particular badminton-wielding police officer grew thin on the eighth day of his stakeout. He'd been keeping an eye out on the man wearing a red kimono for days, but every single time he was about to get close to his target, the man seemed to disappear into thin air.

Just as the man in red was about to leave the dark alley, the officer gave chase.

Crunch.

The sound of the wrapper he had just stepped on echoed throughout the dark alley, ultimately giving away his position. Upon lifting his right foot, he sees the familiar packaging of his all-time favorite snack.

Anpan.

He had a bad feeling about this. Nothing good ever happened to him whenever that snack showed up.

The man in red glanced towards his side at the visibly shocked officer and grinned.

Maybe, it was the lack of proper nutrients from his anpan stakeout diet, but even his target started to look like an anpan. The man's red kimono became the red bean paste surrounded by the warm, toasty bun that was once his long, sandy ponytail and white hakama.

He chased after the large anpan with hungry eyes before it left the alleyway and entered into the crowds gathered for one of Edo's annual summer festivals. No matter where he turned his head, he could only see walking, talking, living anpan.

Did I finally die and reach anpan heaven?

A ringtone resembling the iconic soundtrack from the Saw movie interrupted his thoughts. He immediately reached out for his cell phone, not letting his demonic supervising officer wait too long.

"Yamazaki. Report. Where's the suspect now?"

"About that. I have good news and bad news."

"Tell me the bad news first."

"I lost the anpan...err...I mean suspect."

His supervising officer sighed. "Then, what's the good news?"

"I think I'm in heaven. I just found a lifetime supply of anpan."

"Yamazaki! If you really want to be in anpan heaven, just say the word and I'll be there to help you with seppuku! Understand?"

The death threat laced into that last statement brought back some sense of reality into his head.

"Please don't leave where you are, Vice Chief. I'll report to you soon."

Sheesh.

Hijikata-san's mood was never that good to begin with but for some reason, it's gotten a lot worse. He's been pushing us to catch every criminal that we all feel like we're about to die from exhaustion. I wish Hijikata-san would hurry up and get married already.

If he had a wife to dote on, maybe he'd spend less time scolding us?

[ooo]

Meanwhile, on the other side of the street.

"Kyaa!" A group of ladies clad in a variety of yukata surrounded the man in red.

"Want to spend the night with me, handsome?" One of the older girls asked as she boldly latched onto his arm.

"That depends. Will you be an obedient dog and bark for me?" He spoke in a seductive tone while pulling out a dog leash from out of nowhere.

"Sorry. Wrong person." The most ordinary-looking lady in the group pulled the older girl and excused herself along with her group of friends.

The man in red chuckled to himself. Now that all the annoying distractions were out of the way, he could finally continue his investigation.

[ooo]

Everything started when the rumours of a Joui uprising reached the ears of Katakuriko Matsudaira and the one name that was frequently mentioned in those rumours was Kuraba Touma. The man possessed big brown doe eyes, but don't let this innocent face fool you, he was more than willing to do anything for profit. He initially began to sell drugs and women, but lately, he's gotten his hands on illegal weapons that he traded with the Joui rebels.

Matsudaira received orders from his superiors to put Kuraba behind bars for the sake of protecting the Shogun, but the Shinsengumi he commanded had been having trouble catching the guy who seemed to slip through their hands like a fox every time. That was when Matsudaira knew that he had to get the man in red involved.

"Sougo-kun, do you remember me?" Matsudaira's voice could be heard through the phone.

"Nn." Sougo agreed. He was a bit irritated from having his afternoon nap interrupted, but he recognized this voice and didn't dare be hostile towards the man that had once saved him from the brink of death.

"Remember that favour you owe me five years ago? I need you to pay it back."

[ooo]

After receiving strict orders to capture Kuraba, Sougo trailed the guy for months in order to gather all of the evidence that he needed to put the guy behind bars for life, but there was a catch. Just when he was about to visit Kuraba's latest residence, the man disappeared. Sougo had only found his trail recently and it led him to the Oedo Psychiatric Hospital. Kuraba must've realized that Sougo was onto him and used the excuse of being "mentally ill" to escape authorities.

Hence, that was the reason that the sandy-haired lad in red was currently standing in front of a large hospital, thoroughly studying the building in front of him.

Kuraba, I've got you now.

[ooo]

Up Next: The Disguise

[ooo]

A/N: I've always wanted to do an Author's Corner or like a Q & A section with the characters so here it is:

Author: What are your thoughts on love?

Sougo: (Yawns.) Pass. You know something else that makes my heart race? (Pulls out his sword and starts to cut down a pile of Hijikata dolls.)

Author: (Wonders if Sougo had spent time hand sewing all of those Hijikata dolls.) If I didn't know any better, I'd think you and Hijikata were a couple...

[A sadistic glint enters Sougo's eyes and the author starts to run for her life.]

A/N: I'll also be inserting deleted scenes in each chapter (another thing I've always wanted to do). Think of it as bloopers when the "canon" (my version of canon) Gintama characters try to follow my script/plot. They can be pretty random though. Feel free to skip them if you want. They're not essential to plot. But I like imagining them.