The Fall (Camren)

Can't Kick Up The Roots

The healing process slow, it's different stages – reactive, reparative, remodelling. It's cellular regeneration, its fixing, it's difficult and time consuming and necessary.

The first stage is straight after the incident, the immediate beginning of healing. Then comes the reparation. The mending, the weaving together of new bones, new cells, new beginnings that heal stronger than ever.

Lauren stared down at her cast and the bruised knuckles of her hand peeking out from the end and hoped that her heart would repair in the same fashion as her wrist, stronger and improved.

The thing about being home after being away for so long was that it felt both comforting and foreign to Lauren. There was a familiarity but it was fractured, splintered in places that used to feel whole. It was the same but changed, home but altered. It was her neighbours having moved away but their house unchanged, it was her mom ripping up the carpets and putting down varnished hardwood floors. It was her front door painted red instead of familiar deep blue. Changed but inside so many things exactly the same, the grooves in the doorway of her bedroom climbing with age, the smell of home that never dissipates, the broken floorboard in the hallway that always squeaked.

The last time Lauren was home she felt out of place but now that she needed the comfort of home she felt less like an outsider and more like she was coming in from the rain.

She had been back a day, one whole day, and already felt a hundred times better. Her parents flitted around her, not too imposing and always on the periphery with kind eyes. Her brother was jokes and playful punches and "Shut up, nerd!" her sister was quiet and smiles and hugs. It was family, never imposing and Lauren was grateful.

Lauren was alone now, her siblings at school and her parents at work. The porch chair swung in the light Miami breeze and she let contentment settle into her bones, she felt unburdened for the first time in a long time; it was time to start mending.

Tapping her phone again to stop it going to sleep she took a deep breath and scrolled down her contacts, tapped Alex's name and brought the phone to her ear.

'Well, well, well if it isn't the renegade drunkard. I was wondering when you'd call.'

Lauren snorted at the typical Alex response.

'I'm sorry I wanted to call you sooner I just...I guess I didn't know what to say to you.'

'And you do now?'

'No.' Lauren answered honestly. 'But you deserve an apology from me. I'm so sorry Alex, I swear I didn't mean to get you in trouble I-'

'Hey, stop.' Alex cut her off, 'you owe me no apologies Lauren. I messed up, I didn't help you as best as I could. This isn't on you okay?'

'But-'

'No buts! You were put in a really shitty situation, you still are in a shitty situation and you dealt with it badly. It's totally understandable.'

Lauren looked out into the back yard and squinted through the sun as she thought over Alex's words, she couldn't shake the feeling she was being let of the hook a little too easily.

'I'm doing better; I'm trying to make it right.' She thought back to her promise to Camila.

'That's good, Lo, and hey they asked me to come back next week to finish out the tour with you guys, apparently my replacement is a massive douche and can't cope with the many problems your bandmates keep bombarding her with.'

'Dude, you could've let me know, I've been feeling really guilty here!'

Alex laughed down the phone, 'Sorry I wanted to leave you hanging for a while. Paybacks a bitch Lauren.'