Chapter 1

"Nicole! Wake up sweetheart." My mom shakes me violently on the bed.

"Oh my god, mom. I'm up." I yank the covers off of my lower body as my mom exits my room. I pull my bed slippers over my feet and go to the bathroom to do my usual hygiene routine. Today is the day. Today I'm moving into my dorm at UCLA and I couldn't be any more excited. I have worked so hard for this and it's finally here. I grab the purple and green toothbrush in the toothbrush holder and start brushing my teeth.

"Nicole, I need to talk to you. Hurry down please." My mom yells. She has been going crazy getting ready for my move to LA. I understand why, seeing as I'm the only child left in the house. But she has been going a little overboard packing my bags and buying 30 picture frames for me to take. She says it will help me remember her or something like that. Her nerves have been on edge and I just hope she okay when I'm gone.

I finish brushing my teeth and cleaning my face, and dart for the living room where my mom is siting surrounded by a bunch of Walmart bags that hold my dorm necessities.

"Hey mom, you okay?" She looks up at me with puffy red rimmed eyes.

Oh boy, here we go.

I really don't see why my mom is having a hard time with this. She's hardly ever home anyways, I barely get to see her on the weekends. She works at this huge law firm and spends most of her time at the office working on god knows what. So the only time I really do get to see her is if I am up really late at night, or up really early in the morning. Her acting this way is freaking me out to the maximum.

"I just, I just really love you. And I want you to grow and conquer but I want you to do it here in Vegas." She whines, wiping at the tears running down her structured cheek bones.

I can't believe she's actually saying this. I've been dying for this day to come and here she is trying to bring me down and make me stay here with her, when she's never even home. I can't believe this. She's being so selfish.

"You can't be serious, right? After all the hard work I have busted my ass off doing to get to this college," My eyebrows furrow in confusion as to why my mother would consider such a thing. " you want to tell me I should consider staying here?"

She straightens her back and looks up at me. "Nicole, I understand you're trying to follow your dreams baby, but do you really think you could make it in UCLA?"

I can't believe this. I can't believe this.

"Yes mom, I do." I say.

"Ok, let's get you ready then. Come on we have a long drive ahead of ourselves." She says, walking to the kitchen I assume to make breakfast that I will not be eating. I have lost all my appetite.

I look out the window as I see the signs directing us to our destination. I haven't said one word since my moms little outburst this morning, and I don't plan on doing so. How can she be so selfish? How can she flush all my hope down the drain? I should've known. She has always been this way; telling me I will never succeed, telling me my hopes are too high, that I have no friends because Im boring. Shes always wanted me to be like her; getting whatever she wants, bossy, loud, demanding. This always reminds me of why my father left her, but did he really have to leave me with her? Did I really deserve to pay the price too? Life has been anything but easy, and that's all going to change.

1/2 mile to UCLA

"You're awfully quiet"

I wonder why that is, mother.

"Just thinking." I say. Thinking about how you're an awful excuse of a mother, how you've never been there for me, how you always put me down, how I'm never good enough.