Where You're Meant To Be- Larry Stylinson

Letter

My Dearest Harry,

By the time that you find this, I will hopefully be far away. Or as far as one can get in about 4 hours. I'm truly sorry that it's come to this. And I'm truly sorry you had to be put through hell on account of me. Don't worry, please. I'm not going to do anything stupid like last time. I'm just leaving. Before I tried to end it, I saw how much what They did hurt us. How much it hurt you. It killed me a little more each day to hear your soft cries at night when you thought I was asleep. It killed me to watch you fake the smiles that didn't reach your eyes, to see your pained expression whenever They found you a new "girlfriend". And I knew with me around, you'd be forced to go through that. My fault. All My fault. So I left. But I didn't do a good enough job. Never do. But this time, you'll never have to deal with the pain I caused you, never again. Please don't do anything stupid. I'll still be living. Don't try to find me. You won't be able to. As long as They are around, you won't be happy. And I can't stand seeing you unhappy. It's unfair to you. And I just know that you'd try to fix me in whatever way you could. You're that wonderful. But then that would hurt you more. I know how much it would hurt you, knowing that I'm too broken to be fixed. Once you realized that, you'd give up on me. Just like everyone else. That would be too much. Not just for you, but for me. You're the only one I've ever truly loved, Harry. From the first second I saw you, when you walked up to me while I was hyperventilating on the X-Factor stairs, I knew that you were going to be the one that would try to save me. You did such a lovely job, but once we got signed, everything changed. And it hurt. And it made me doubt everything. Now that I'm back, I really did think it would be heaven, being back in your arms. But after those things that Ty said, I couldn't stop thinking about them.  What if it was true? What if you didn't love me? What if you were going to give up on me? And I couldn't take those chances. In the event that they weren't true, I'd still have to live with seeing you in pain. There was no other option. So I left. I know that this might hurt you a little, that I'm leaving. Don't blame yourself, please. But promise me that you'll go on living. Pain free. Able to be happy. Finally. And remember, Harold Edward Styles, I'll always love you, whether I'm there to tell you or not. And you'll always be my Hazza, no matter the distance between us. Make sure to tell the boys that I'm sorry too, and that they couldn't have done anything, because they'll (Liam especially) probably blame themselves. Damn, I just keep hurting everyone, don't I? No more. No more, Harry. And make sure Brad knows too. And tell him thank you, for letting me see you for the final time.

Always in my heart,

Louis William Sty Tomlinson