I Don't Think That They'll Understand - Fransykes

Chapter Six

Oli woke up the next morning, arms aching from having been chained above his head all night. Josh was still asleep beside him, and the boy was tempted to wake him up to ask to be unlocked from the bed. Factoring in what happened the night before, he decided against it, thinking that asking an unnecessary question would fuel Josh’s anger even more.

Once again, he let his mind drift, this time to the food situation. He wasn’t liking how much he’d been eating lately. Normally, Oli got by on not eating much at all, maybe 100 to 150 calories a day. Now, truthfully he didn’t know how many calories he was consuming, and that scared him to no end. He wanted to be so thin he’d waste away to nothing, and eating as much as he was wouldn’t get him close to where he wanted to be. It would just make him more visible to others, push him further to the front of everyone else’s mind, and he didn’t want to be there. His family had probably all forgotten about him, so what was the point of being visible to anyone else?

He waited another two hours before Josh got up and unlocked him. “Moving day,” he muttered. “Pack up.” Not like I’ve got much to pack, Oli thought. But he followed Josh’s order, mostly because he didn’t have anywhere else to go, and he was afraid of what might happen if he didn’t.

***

As they continued to move from motel room to motel room, Josh’s feelings for Oli grew deeper and deeper. He really did love this boy. No matter what, he wanted to be able to introduce him to his family, say “Meet my husband Oliver,” even if it meant brainwashing the poor kid. A small piece of him felt bad for the boy, but the overwhelming majority of him was proud of himself for going through with it. He wanted to make Oli see that this is where he belonged, this was the best place for him, this is what he needed. Oliver didn't deserve the pain he was put through at school, didn't deserve to be ignored at home. He deserved someone who loved him, someone like Josh.

Oli on the other hand... he was getting anxious. He knew all of this, Josh's kindness, their somewhat-normal (for a kidnaper-victim) relationship had to end, everything. It just wasn't normal, it couldn't last. Nothing could ever last in Oli's world. But, he was actually enjoying it, despite the occasional bout of anxiety over being locked in a hotel room or vehicle. He was enjoying the semi-normal routine, where someone cared for him, actually paid attention to him, for purposes other than taunting him. It was a nice break from the usual, even if he knew it had to end.

The usual was being ignored by everyone who once claimed to have cared about him. His best friend, his teachers, his family, his brother, everybody had let him fade away from their memory, or so it seemed. He was a background character to everyone else's main character, watching from the corner of the room as everyone else's lives went somewhere, mattered to others.

And through all that, he still found himself missing home, just the slightest bit. He missed the familiarity of being ignored, as weird as that may sound. It had gotten rather comfortable, the anonymity of no one caring about you. You could do whatever you wanted and no one would notice. Hell, no one had noticed him wasting away, getting thinner and thinner, hiding behind the baggy sweaters and loose jeans, and that was a good thing. Josh actually cared about Oli’s eating habits though, and refused to let him keep starving himself.

“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?” Josh questioned one day, driving on a deserted road in what Oli considered to be the middle of nowhere.

Oli thought before replying, figuring he had nothing left to lose. “Wouldn’t mind going back to Sheffield,” he answered, thinking of his childhood home, where the kids didn’t hate him, no one hated anyone. They were too young to hate each other, and he wished it were still like that, wished he were still that innocent second-grader whose parents loved him, whose world seemed to revolve around him. He wished he thought there was no bad in the world, that it was all just make-believe.

Now, he knew that wasn’t true. There was bad in the world, and it came in all forms, including what he refused to admit was his rather attractive kidnapper. He tried not to allow himself to think of Josh that way though. But, had he simply met Josh through a family friend or such, he certainly would have found him attractive. Bit it was sick to find your kidnapper attractive, wasn’t it?

His mind twisted with thoughts of Josh as he absentmindedly answered his questions. Between their hours of travelling and the wee hours in the hotel room, he found himself thinking of Josh, he couldn’t help it anymore. It wasn’t like Josh was that messed up, he had never done anything too horrible to Oli, never made him do anything out of reason. He eventually convinced himself it was okay to like Josh. It was okay to talk to him, behave normally, because Josh hadn’t done bad. He had convinced himself Josh had done good by taking him away, had done good by taking him in.

When he looked at Josh now, he saw someone good in his life. Sure, they met under abnormal circumstances, and were still in such circumstances, but he kind of saw Josh as a saviour, as his saviour. He didn’t have to undergo the torture of school and deal with the pain when he was with Josh.

After finding out where Oli would like to live most, Josh started making plans, just in his head for now. He thought of the possible ways to go to Sheffield, tried to think of friends who would have connections to get them that far. If they went to Sheffield, they could start a life of their own. New names, IDs, everything. Oli could pass as 16, they could be together and not hide it. If Oli agreed to everything, it was the perfect getaway. There'd be no more running, no more jumping between hotel rooms, just him and Oli together in a country they both knew and enjoyed. They could live together, Josh could provide for the both of them, they could start a family if they wished, it would be perfect. By the time they had settled into their new lives, everyone will have forgotten about Oli, will have assumed him dead and his captor long gone.

All he needed was Oli's approval, his agreement, and that would be the hard part. But, it could be done, he hoped. Just as long as nothing unexpected happened, he'd be okay.