Exsanguination and Other Love Stories

XII. A Letter from the River

Dear Reader,

To put things very simply, and answer the question of "What happened next?" - the witch water washed Florian and I right into the Fourth World, bodies and all, when he broke the aquarium in basement of Azure Tech.

Florian says the Fourth World is a sort of an interim place, a highway between my "real world" and all the others. To me, it just looks like being in a great deal of mist on the shore of a river which looks like quicksilver sometimes, and lead at others, depending on whether it wants to. I can't see any sky or sun: there's only mist, as far as the eye can see. It's like being in a dream which won't end, where things are only detailed and clear when you are focusing on them directly, and everything else just stops existing when you look away.

Among other comforting things, Florian also says my "First World" is only my "First World" to me, and that I can keep looking at them all in perspective of how far they are from the one I was born in, in their rough adherence to the laws of physics and generally accepted reality. That is, so long as it helps me to not have an existential crisis and stop bothering him with questions about how things work.

I'm not sure how long we've been here anymore, to be honest. But what frightens me more is how much I might have changed without noticing: how much of me might no longer be me. Florian says not to worry about it – but he's all other people's thoughts and dreams to begin with! And the other day, as we were walking, he asked me if that was a third eye growing on my forehead, and nearly gave me a heart attack. I nearly tried to push him into the river. It bothers me very much, the prospect of changing without being able to stop it – it doesn't bother him at all. And I think he's been looking more sparkly lately, and his clothes keep changing decade from day to day, with no sensible reason why but magic.

I' wrote down what happened at Azure Tech to remind myself of what I was and how I got here, one last time, and sent it back down the river. We can't go back upstream without a boat, and you need a real witch to make one of those. But anyone can send small things back, if they will hard enough. So even if something happens to me, you'll know what happened when you read this.

Cordelia's here too, you see, and following us. And every so often, when I long for sleep (there's no sleeping here: it's all one long succession of a dream) I think maybe I can catch a glimpse of a jagged silver-blue tail in the river ahead of us, or a stirring in the shadows behind us, something like the echo of my great-aunt's laugh.

We're looking for a door out of this limbo, and into a world where she or Mr. Blue can't follow – but we haven't seen any yet.

Yours truely,

Sabilla Vane

P.S. I'm adding this as really hasty post-script. We've found doors, finally! Just standing by the river. Apparently these are how you get to other worlds from here. Not one, but three. Sketching them below.