The Perfect Gift

Chapter Four

Sarah

Dear diary,

Dad died almost year ago so now it's just me and mum. I guess I shouldn't feel sad, afterall he's in heaven with God and his pain is gone. But I am. 

To be honest, it'll never be the same without him with us. Reverend Baker gave me this journal, My Thoughts Book, and I'm supposed to write how I feel. He has been helping us get through this difficult time. The church, as well. And we're more than grateful for their support.

The month Dad died, I turned away from God and the church.  Why did Dad have to die? Why did he get cancer? We were happy before the diagnosis. Very happy. No matter how hard he fought, he couldn't beat it. 

It was a tough period for mum and I. I stopped attending church services despite my mother's pleas, I couldn't bear to go to God after what He did to me but I found my way back, my faith stronger and my love boundless.

The pain, though not completely gone, is reduced. I choose not to dwell on it but instead keep busy with church activities. I throw myself into helping at church to keep my mind occupied. I know if I stay busy, I'll keep the dark thoughts out of my mind and I won't hate God.

We have a lot of medical bills yet to be paid so mum's begun working as a waitress in a fancy restaurant where the pay is really good. I wanted to help out by getting a job but she insisted that I focus on school and get good grades, leave the worrying to her.

She was a renowned painter back when she lived in Paris and one day, she wanted to be like Pablo Picasso or Leonardo da Vinci. But she gave up her dream to be with my dad. 

According to the story I heard countless amount of times, dad was sent to his bank's new branch in France for a year to supervise their performance. It was a love at first sight; they dated for a year and she moved with him to the States where they got married. 

Dad worked in a bank while mum stayed at home and took care of me.  We went to church on Saturdays and Sundays together because they were both engaged in a ton of church activities.  

And those were my best days of the week. Mum was a Sunday school teacher and I enjoyed hearing the word of God with my best friend, Jen Winston. 

 Mum converted the attic into her personal art room where she painted frequently while I sat and watched her avidly. Taking in every stroke of her stroke of her brush until I fell in love with painting. So in love that I never felt more at ease, besides in church, than in front of a canvas.  

Dad always joked that I had more of my mum's genes and I guess he was right because I am more like her. We both have the same rich and full blond hair, smooth nose and petite body stature but I have my dad's deep blue eyes.

After dad's death, we moved to a smaller house, small but comfortable. We get to save money since it doesn't cost so much like our previous house. 

School begins tomorrow and I can't wait to see my friend, Emily Turner. I hope she had a good summer. I end this entry with my best Bible verse, the words got me through a lot.

"Casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5 : 7

A/N:

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