Dear Jason,
Since you left and it's been difficult. I've been trying so hard to go on without you but really it's like a piece of my life and my heart is missing. I don't understand why you had to leave. Was I not worth it to you? Did you decide there was someone or something better for you where you are now?
I miss you so much, my heart aches and I can't go a day without shedding tears over you. You mean so much to me and I just want you back so badly.
Love,
Payton
I shut my notebook and looked up examining my new room. It was simple and small but I liked it well enough. On the bed across from mine sat a sweet girl named Josie whom was my roomate. She had dark black hair and somber eyes to match. Her lips were crimson and always formed a delicate smile, though never really exposing her teeth unless she takes a fit of laughter. She talks to herself quiet often but I don't mind, it is amussing. I enjoy trying to see what goes through her mind.
I pulled off my simple white nightgown in exchange for a pair of black sweatpants and a white tee-shirt. There was a knock on my door. I pulled opened the door to find a very attractive young man standing in front of me. "Why hello there handsome" - I never could resist flirting with someone attractive. Back in high school I was popular with all of the guys. "Hello", he said back scanning a piece of paper up and down quickly. "Payton, you ready to go"? 'Yeah, hold on cutie let me grab my sweatshirt.". The attractive man blushed and then turned around giving me a minute to get what I wanted from my room.
Shutting the door after myself I scanned the hallway. Every door looked the same - battleship gray and the floors were as shiny as glass. As he led me down the hallway he chattered on about our surroundings but most of his words were drowned out by my thoughts. I was taking mental notes of details I thought might be important for later. "So around our campus there is a lot you can do. We offer many different classes. There are art classes - charcoal art, painting, beginners sketching and pottery. We also have poetry and gardening. Many residents enjoy taking walks around our expansive gardens. We also have group talk time and meals are served in the cafeteria which is down the hall on the right. The food's okay, nothing like my mom makes. The rule is, all food stays in the cafeteria. We serve three main meals a day with three snack times throughout the day."
"Sheesh, this campus has a lot of rules that I don't like" I said a little ticked. Still, I was excited to spend the next six months here because I didn't want to go home. This place was as nice as it gets - unlimited food and so many activities, not to mention how clean it was. The man laughed. "Oh yeah and what's your name? I don't want to forget you", I said. " Well I'm Jeffery. I will come by a lot to show you around and escort you place to place." "Good", I said with a wink. I typically don't like to hide my feelings or my opinions. I am a brutally honest person whether you want to hear the truth or not, and to be truthful I was interested in Jeffrey. Just because I find Jeffrey really attractive doesn’t mean I wasn't into Jason anymore. The man was and still is the love of my life. So after we sign you up for classes you can hang out with Brian.That isif you want to" he said. "i'd love to", I said cheerfully.
After filling out paperwork, Jeffrey brought me over to Brian's room. "Here you go. Just have Brian call me when you want to leave, Alright?" I nodded my head in agreement. "Knock, knock!", I said instead of actually knocking as I burst into the room. Brian seemed shocked but relieved when he discovered it was just me.
"Oh Payton! Nice to see you again. Glad you could come visit today." "Hey Brian. Yeah, you know, I was taking a walk around and just wanted to talk to you a little bit about Jason and about all the rules around here. They have been bothering me a little.", I said plopping down on the couch in his room. “Alright! Well my couch and my attention are always available to you so long as I am in the building".
“Okay well where to begin? Since we last talked I have been thinking more and more about Jason. I sit in my room and he is all I can think about. I miss him so much! I remember when we first met and how he was just so mysterious." “Where did you first meet him?” interrupted Brian but I didn’t mind. I loved talking about Jason. “We met at the diner I used to work at. He came in every morning to eat breakfast before work. The first time I saw him I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He had dark black hair and chocolate brown eyes. His smile was so bright and just filled my heart.” I stopped for a second to take a deep breath. It was hard to talk about Jason and not get worked up. Brian chose to change the topic to something lighter. He could tell I was about to cry. "Tell me what classes you are going to take."
“Well tomorrow I start a painting class. Painting has always been one of my hobbies. I'm hungry. You got any food?”, I asked sitting up on the couch. Brian turned around and looked at his mini-fridge. Getting up from his chair he opened the small door and examined the contents. “I’ve got yogurt and a banana. Which do you prefer?” “ I’ll take a yogurt", I said standing up and grabbing a spoon from the counter top. We talked for a bit while I finished my yogurt. After scraping the bottom of the cup I got up, cleaned the spoon in the small sink and threw the empty container in the trash.
“Will you call Jeffery so that he can show me back to my room? I get so lost around here. It’s such a huge campus." “Oh yeah, yeah, sure", said Brian grabbing his phone off the wall and punching in four simple digits. "Hey Jeffery, yeah… yeah she does… five minutes? Okay sounds good, thanks so much!” Returning the phone to its cradle Brian spun around in his chair facing me once again.
“Oh yeah I forgot to tell you that I think Jeffery is so adorable!”, I said blushing and smiling to myself. Brian’s face went white for a second but quickly returned to his typical pink color.
Standing up Brian walked around the room. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen he jotted something down. While I was busy wondering what he wrote he set them back down and returned to his chair across from me. “Sorry I just forgot to write something down, but good to know" he said.
There was a knock at the door and it was pulled open just enough to see Jeffery’s face. “Ready to go?” he said, just barely stepping in the frame of the door. “Yup! Bye Brian!”, I said waving my hand and then stepping out the door. “See you on Wednesday!” said Brain shutting the door behind us.
When we got back to my room I opened the door to find Josie sitting on her bed talking to herself - nothing new. “Goodbye Jeffery,” I said stepping forward to hug him. I think he caught sight of that because he backed up a few steps. “Well then,” I said slamming the door. “That was rude,” I said to no one in particular, but Josie responded. “Well people are ignorant", she said turning around and examining the wall.
“Well I'm taking a nap", I said throwing off my sweatshirt. Dropping it to the floor, I sank into my bed. Laying my head down on the pillow, I surrendured to sleep.
