Soon » Zustin

.5. Fin.

The rain patterned dismally against the windshield, which was furiously wiping away at the practical river streaming over the car.

"Zayn, please - stop. You're going too fast, it's dange-"

"Shut up, Louis. Just-" Zayn breathed in deeply, holding a hand out to Louis to signal his want for his best friend to shut up.

Zayn paid no heed to Louis' plead or his scared gasps when Zayn had come close to crashing, but very luckily missing. A portrayal of his life, really. Zayn, all his life, had taken risks and almost every time, he'd lucked out when it'd come to the consequences. He wished this was one too - this grief, he wished he could miss this too. It just felt really overwhelming and almost didn't seem real.

It didn't seem real.

Losing his other half, the father of his children, the love of his life - it just didn't seem real.

Zayn finally came to a stop outside of the church, Louis letting out a breath of relief. They were already here for one funeral, they didn't need another - which was liable to happen with Zayn's reckless driving.

Louis understood - it was a very hard time, but how could Zayn risk his life driving dangerously when he had just lost the love of his life the same way?

Zayn gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white, as he breathed deeply. He stared ahead of him, at the many graves scattering the wet and muddy churchyard.

"Louis, wait inside. I'll be ju-"

"No, Zayn. I'm not leaving you alone. Don't ask me to do such a thing. I don't want to leave you like this. Yo-"

"I said go inside." Zayn's tone was stern, fierce, a tone Louis felt he had to fall under, to obey.

Louis breathed deeply, nodding a little. Zayn just needed time alone, which was understandable. "O-okay. Erm, just... Don't be too long, the ceremony's going to start. Be careful, alright?" Louis undid his seatbelt and held his jacket over his head as he stepped out of the car.

"Okay." Zayn smiled very sweetly, his tone soft.

As the door shut, Louis running to the church with his jacket held over his head to keep dry, Zayn's face returned to a blank but fierce look.

"I can look after my own damn self." He growled.

He breathed in deeply, continuously doing so as tears clouded his vision. His breaths became ragged, harsh, uneven.

He bit his lip, but the tears fell.

"No. Please, no." He wiped furiously at his red rimmed eyes.

Just like the windscreen wipers wiping away the rain as the rain was falling so hard it never really left, Zayn was the same - his tears the rain, his hands the windscreen wipers.

"Justin." He whispered brokenly.

"JUSTIN!" He screamed hoarsely. All his life, he'd screamed at or for Justin and he'd appear on call, a cocky and amused smile on his face.

Zayn soon found, no matter how hard he'd call this time, Justin wouldn't come.

He was bawling his eyes out now, screaming his lungs, heart and soul out.

He let his head slump, hitting the steering wheel, the loud horn beeping as he did so.

He lifted his head up after a while, seeing his son Harry at the doors of the church.

Harry looked around before spotting Zayn and ran to the car. He took the seat Louis was in not long ago and immediately brought his papa to his hard, damp chest. "Shh, papa. I'm here, I got you, shh." He ran his wet hand through Zayn's hair, another hand rubbing his back comfortingly. Lord knows they needed a lot of comfort right now.

No words needed to be said as Zayn cried and Harry held him, allowing his silent tears to fall also. Harry just wanted to be strong for his only father now but couldn't as grief was taking it's toll on him.

Zayn's sobs soon subsided, a trail of hiccups lagging after.

There was silence apart from the falling rain and somehow, the sound eased Zayn. It reminded him of when Justin was in the shower and Zayn was on the bed, thinking. He closed his eyes, remembering.

"You-" Zayn cleared his raspy throat. "You know, your father," he paused again, tears once again stinging his tired eyes. "He set fire to the world around him but never let a flame touch me."

He smiled and Harry chuckled. "Ain't that the truth. He never let nothing happen to you if he could do anything about it. You were each other's rock. And even though you guys had something so complicated, I want it one day. I want what you had. You loved each other so intensely. I want that papa." 

Zayn let his tears fall, not even saying a word. He wanted Harry to find love, he wanted his child to feel what he felt so many times. But Zayn didn't want Harry to feel the many moments of despair and sadness and anger and that horrible cheated feeling he felt one too many times with Justin.

A few minutes passed after more silence. Zayn hummed a familiar tune before singing softly.

"Rain, rain, go away, come again another day. Justin, Justin, please come back, my walls are down, my heart's gone slack."

🌸❣🌸❣🌸❣🌸❣🌸❣🌸❣

☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

Ermahgerd. That's it. SOON is finished. And so soon :( HAHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ugh I'm lame I'm sorry 😩

WELL Y'ALL CAN CHECK OUT ME OTHER BOOKS. SECRETARY AND SAVE ME FROM LOVING YOU. THEY DON'T DISAPPOINT, I SWEAR. WELL ACTUALLY, COMMENT IF THEY DO. IT IS OKAY I TAKE CRITISM WELL, LIKE ANY OTHER RATIONAL HUMAN BEING, I CRY AND DOUBT MYSELF AND GIVE MY NUTELLA JAR TO MY SISTER TO FEEL MORE PAIN AS IT IS WHAT I DESERVE.

Okay that was weird. Soz. I love you all. So much. I really do. You make me happy and PEW PEW PEW

THAT WAS THE SOUND OF ME SENDING FREE HIGS AND COOKIES TO EVERYONE.

lava you.

And for the last time on this book,

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