It only hits me now how toxic you are for me.
I can't invite you back in, I can't.
I won't.
Not even so much as quick hello to let you know I'm still alive. I know that's selfish of me, but I can't let you back in.
Not anymore.
I didn't know what I was in for the first time around, and still, I broke down my walls the next time and let you in.
You're like the moon.
And I'm the ocean.
And during the day I'm at my proudest, but when you come around, just look how far back I reach.
Baring the damp sand, that stays untouched during the night, like every flaw in me is yours and yours alone to keep.
My waves gently cover more ground, as I try to conceal my deepest and darkest secrets, but you have a way of revealing them as you please.
Your repeated presence upon me let's me know you have taken possesion of me. And only for you, do I bare my secrets.
No, in your presence I am at my rawest. Nothing to show my pride for. As the ocean glistens in the moonlight, I revel in your attention. When the clouds come to hide you away, the rain falls, and my waves crash and overlap each other, violently, searching for a way to get out. It would only be a matter of time before you appear again.
And yet, when you do, I am calm as ever.
And just like that, I've let you in.
And just like that,
Just like that,
I am drowning.
v·xxii
