Into the fire

The remains

The timber looks like a black mess and the furniture looks all scorched, there is nothing left.
No pictures.
No memories.
No home.
Nothing left from my life before the fire.

I see shattered glass around my feet along with the charred remains of the coffee table.

It is almost mesmerising, in a horrific way, walking through your once peaceful, welcoming house that now looks like World War III has taken place in it. I can feel the tears start to run down my face, but my arms are too heavy to lift so I can wipe them away. I stand there, my weight on my non-burnt leg, in the middle of my once bright, colourful living room practically gawking at the sight before my eyes.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, gently pulling me away from my home.

'No...' I whisper, 'Please don't make me-'

'You can't stay here forever,'

'But-' I stutter, trying to find the right words, 'This - this is my home...'

I feel myself getting dragged, almost carried away from my house, and back into the small black car I came here in, almost wishing the fire had taken me out too.

****

I sit in the back of the black Mercedes Benz that has been taking me everywhere over the last few days, thinking, just thinking.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
Thinking...
Thinking about-

Bzzzzz

I close my eyes and try to ignore the obvious vibration in my back pocket-

Bzzzzz

I know exactly who it is, I just can't face them-

Bzzzzz

I reach back to take my phone out of my pocket, but hesitate. My hand is suspended in the air near my hip, shaking. I place it back on my lap-

Bzzzzz
I wait a few seconds and the vibrating ceases, I let out an audible sigh of relief

'You know you have to answer him sometime,' Says a voice from the front of the car, 'You are going to have to see him eventually.'

'How soon is eventually?' I question.

'Truthfully?' She inquires,

I nod, 'Yeah...'

'In about fifteen minutes.' She admits.

'What? No! I can't!'

I struggle against the seat and try to get my seatbelt undone. I feel the car slowly moving to the side of the road and come to a sudden stop. My seatbelt clicks undone and I stumble across to open my door.I am about 3 centimetres away when the child lock comes on.

I feel a tear drop down my face, 'I can't face him. What will he do? He could've died because of me... They died because of me. He'll hate me, Hannah, he will absolutely hate me...' I slowly trail off and fall back against the seat.

I see Hannah open her mouth to say something but close it almost instantly, she turned back to the front and sighed.

I pull out my new phone and input the password. I open my music and select Raise your glass by p!nk I plug in my headphones, fall back onto the seat and close my eyes, hoping that when I open them, my life would be back to normal.