The Bachelor

Chapter 30

Kim visited her one day and Julianne was thankful for her. What she didn’t expect was Kim’s appearance. Sure, the lady was still the Asian girl that she knew, but Kim looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

“You don’t look good yourself,” Kim retorted when she pointed that out, looking down at her baggy shirt and pants. “You shouldn’t go out looking like that. You’re a celebrity now.”

Julianne shook her head and sipped her coffee. They were at a café just across her building, basking in the sunlight.

“But of course, you don’t care,” Kim added, rolling her eyes with an amused look.

“How is it going with Jack?” she asked.

Kim looked at her dryly. “How do you think? That stupid show’s eating all his time and I can’t wait for it to be done with. Can you see this?” she pointed at the area under one slit eye. “This is because of the late night phone calls we can only get once a day. What is Zach doing anyway? He should just dump those two and get it over with.” Her friend looked at her meaningfully. “You’re not getting tired of waiting are you?”

Julianne hoped she could answer that one. When she left the show, she was certain that waiting wouldn’t be a problem. But now, as time passed by, she was not sure anymore. Though her mind was telling her that Zach would definitely find her no matter what, there was still that woman part of her that jumps to every freaking horrifying possibilities like Zach might change his mind and forget about her as what he originally planned to in the first place when he made the bet with Liam. Another part of her kept wondering if she should really wait, reminding herself that she had a life to live as well.

“I don’t want to wait, but I’m doing it. I don’t want to believe in fate but I’m praying it won’t be harsh on us,” she finally admitted with a sigh. “Is it always this difficult?”

Kim chuckled, her shoulders shaking, “You haven’t been in love before.” It was not a question. It was a statement that was very true.

Julianne chose not to comment on that one.

“Yes, it’s difficult. Love is no picnic as what they always say in books and movies. Sometimes, we are too focused on the “happy” elements of the stories we see and watch that we forget about the conflict in the story. It’s not all sunshine and long walks under the moon,” her friend uttered, looking her in the eyes. “It’s about waiting, anticipating, and feeling. You should write a novel about it. The real story of what a real love story should be.”

Now, this was one reason why she just couldn’t write romance. It could be as complicated as a freaking suspense novel with a lot of twists and turns. At first, she never ventured in that genre because she thought it shallow and repetitive. You just have to have two main characters, a plot where they meet, fight, and reconcile in the end. But now, she was not so sure. How it could be compared in real life was not something Julianne could plot out. She couldn’t even put them in words, but Kim could as she continued on with her little love speech.

“I sometimes blame these stupid romantic novels and movies. They always leave women wishing for the exact same thing they portray. The moment we close the book, or the moment we walk out of the cinema, we always have that hidden wish back in our heads to meet that guy who went down on his knees for his girl. But it’s not always the case, is it? No, we always find ourselves whining why we can’t have that fairytale shit we just read about or watched that we missed that cute guy who just passed by or the one sitting behind us. And,” her friend added, raising one finger, “then, if we find that one special person, we do stupid things because we always compare the real relationship with that perfect one we saw or read. But the real story is: love is not just about fate putting two people together. For most of us, it’s about the moments we miss and the moments we want to have. Love is not always like the movies and the books. It’s about two people creating their own story to tell their children and grandchildren. It’s about putting aside what should be and let things unfold as they should no matter how long it would take.”