Without him....
Whole day I am engrossed in a thought which is not ready to leave my mind and heart, yea its he, but any which ways your heart flutters for only thing.. anyways round you only want just that thing to happen... each heart beats says am here for that person, u r still alive after so much is because your hearts desire ... the hearts only desire is not fulfilled yet and that's the reason person is living her each day in wounds...
But what else she could do when the door which leads her to him is closed , it is closed with a big fat lock n keys are thrown into different planet ! This means "without him" will never change into "with him" ... sad! Broken! 😥😥😥
Now the way she suffers, bears inevitable pain
God are you really so cruel or just with me , do you really want me to have faith in you , ? No , faith seems blurring, you cant just grant me my only wish? Do I live with so many sin that its impossible for you to make my life with him ? I am tired ! Really tired !
every second of my life I feel disgusting, the feeling of no other desire then him , life seems hopeless, what I all want is to be with him for rest of my life. Love will make u go insane if u could not get it . Y is it so? , when people love each other why its rear or too hard to end up together .
God I want you to make it possible ! When I say its my only wish then how could you not grant ! We keep ignoring each other, try to hide feelings, faking smile over broken heart , how hard it is , god can u see that? How good actors we are.
Why there are so many obstacles ? When Your happiness is clear but out of your reach !
Why I need to sacrifice it when he is only thing I want on this planet earth ! Why I often find my eaylashe's wet , ? Y do I need to weep in my nights , my pillows are tired ...!,
Love is beautiful . pains are beautiful , but when you know its ever lasting and your life will never be tied with "your only desire" then it feels like lets end d life here when its going to be the same for rest of your life ! If this is it then y to live in wounds for rest of your breath .
I don't just love him, he is all what I need!I I can live any damn miserable life , and bloody situation, survive through any disaster with a smiling heart if he is by my side .!!
I may not always be able to hold his hands , but I promise to hold us together
The mask I wear all day faking smile is so vulnerable,
At time I think m so good at acting . Smiling with the broken heart, and you have nobody , not a single person to console your soul, not even to show up sympathy upon . Its so hard !
Why this surrounding is so materialistic!
He is so far , so out of reach ! Its so painfully to not to see him ever , even when I walk on road ,I don't look up because I know he is never going to turn up anywhere but still the bloody hope insists me to look around and I end up finding him nowhere around .
We are so far from each other that its very difficult to unite even for a second .. oh life ! M tired !
When u see couples enjoying around , cuddling n surprising each other and you ? All you can do is miss him , miss him at your every breath ..
The fights we had , the arguments we did , is just to save our friendship , yea correct, friendship! forget about relationship , we were trying to save our friendship .
This social media makes life more miserable. Whatsapp massage , last seen , custom notifications etc
I have kept custom notification for his massage, that mean his massages will have different tone , I all day wait for dat tone to buzz , but I am not so fortunate enough to hear them once ! God it kills !! U have no idea how much it hurts.
Last seen turns into online but never into typing , u have no idea how it feels to see them online but getting no text . from loving chats u go to no text at all . You become strangers who knows about each other alot . This change makes life hell.
Why the conditions are such , u dreaming your future together. But in your thoughts , you acting like a caring partner, waking up every morning with him , a lots of loving stuffs , worried about nothing , because all you wanted is yours now! But.,
In reality , your are about to loose your friendship , yeah isn't it funny ?
Yea it is , we are the popets of god , we have to dance on his thrown songs , by keeping our wishes , emotions , feelings aside!
He is a hope to many but sometimes people loose their patience and curse him for all the wrong things happens to him ! Just like me
When you love someone with all your heart, you unwillingly render the key to your happiness in their hands. Like a puppeteer, they hold the threads to your life and drive it. You give them divine power to decide the fate of your life. If the feelings are reciprocated there isn't a better experience in this world, but if they are not, the world is a sad and dark place.
Its hard to wait around for something that might never happen but its even more harder to give up on something when you know its everything you want.
"So smile in a sorrows, if I'll be lucky enough without him ..... will change to with him !
