Troublemaker

Regret

I used to believe that love is something people have for only one person no matter what;
No matter their mistakes
No matter their flaws
No matter what type of person they are
At the end of the day you will love them...

I've now realised after 6 months, 7 days and 10 hours That I love him, even though I don't want to, I still love him and if it is true love he will forgive me for my mistakes, my flaws, like my weird obsession with food, how I sleep with my mouth open and drool. If it's true love he will forgive me even though I'm a horrible person. Why? Because that's what love does you, love makes you forgive that one person over and over again know matter how many times they hurt you and it sounds so stupid thinking about it, but we do it because they accept you no matter what and because they give you those butterflies and warm feeling all over when you see them or get a smile just thinking of them. Love is a cruel thing
But
Love is also a beautiful thing.

What happened after I fucked up and slept with some random you may ask?
Blake found me the next day barging into my apartment raging screaming about 'cheating' when he was my mate and how stupid I was for running away, he was heartbroken, his eyes were blood shot and glassy, he couldn't look at me in the eye until he was at the door about to leave "just so you know, I actually gave a fuck about you, I loved you" then slammed the door and that was it, no more calls, I didn't see him around, no one was asking for me, In one sense I missed it, it showed he cared. Months went by after that day, I just on the lounge staring at my door waiting.... Hoping he would walk back in and say he still loves me and hug me and tell me that he forgives me. After those months I realised, he wasn't coming back, so now I have to suck it up and make the first move.

So what am I doing?
Going back to the place I regret leaving
America.