Captain Holly Short's diary

First Page:

Well then... You don't know how hard it is to write English... so If I make spelling mistakes... Do not blame me... anyway I will TRY to write I guess. Well most of you Mud people don't care about spelling either. Or grammer. Never mind. This is the Story of Artemis Fowl the 3rd... yes Artemis (2nd) got married. You know it's extremely hard to keep trake of all the Artemi? Artemisss? Artemis's's?... I don't know. Well Lets just say there was more than one. AND IN THE NAME OF FROND FOALY GO AWAY! Foaly. For some annoying reason, is staring at my screen. Artemis is here right now... Along with his Daughter. Yes Daughter, Artemis fowl the 3rd is a girl. Artemis (2nd) and her are identical. Almost she had longer hair and a higher pitched voice, and well she has one brown eye... small Paradox... AND NO I AM NOT HER MOTHER! W-well I'm not going to say who her mother is... because I think you can guess. cough cough Minerva cough cough But then she died... sadly, It was very sad, I cried, a lot. Anyway the point is the Fowls have continued on. If your wondering how many years in the future I am writing this it's 7! She was born about 4 years ago... I think... one second I'll go ask him.

Yes it was 4 years. Please don't ask how Minerva died I have no idea. I think it was giving birth. I'M NO DOCTOR DON'T ASK ME! Anyway... so... life... I sound like a drunken mud person... well fun fact I'm being promoted to Major! Artemis Clapping from behind Thanks Arty! Anyway I've had to do a bunch more paper work sadly... but apart from that all has been good I have had 17 more successful RECONS! So... I guess Artemis (2nd) wants to talk a bit now. So handing over to Him.

Hello, as you probably know my name is Artemis Fowl the second. My late Wife Minerva, My daughter Artemis Fowl the Third, My father Artemis Fowl the 1st, My mother Angeline Fowl and my brothers Myles and Beckett are my family members. My friends are Holly, Foaly, Butler, Juliet, Mulch and Trouble... kind of. That is my life apart from all the shenanigans. Back to Holly.

That is all for now I guess.