Misinterpreted Friendship..

September 25, 2013

To a close friend,

I am very much aware that you hate dramas but please spend time to read this. Whatever transpired last night woke me up from my fantasy, a fantasy about finding a buddy who understands me in all my ways especially the not so good side of me, who stays with me through it all. It was an alarm clock and it leaves me melancholic. I never anticipated this to happen between me and you. I am not in love with you nor do I have feelings for you. It saddens me to know that you thought that I have feelings for you. As I glance at you right now, it hurts that I failed to let you know what exactly I am feeling right now. I don’t want you to be mad at me. Please don’t be. That is why I just kept silent when you almost raised your voice at me. I guess I just can’t find the right words for me to express what I am really feeling. I am selfish. I am vain. I am weak. I am dumb in almost everything. Nevertheless, you still spend time hearing my pointless stories. You are here to comfort me almost all the time. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. I’m sorry that I’ve been so at ease with your company. I’m sorry that I want to be with you. I’m sorry that I put you in this senseless situation. I’m sorry that I’ve been so close to you. I’m sorry that treated you as one of my comfort zones in life. I guess I just trusted you too much. Tomorrow, you will not sleep beside me anymore. There will be distance again between us and starting this moment, those conversations that we had which we shared stories of our lives will be just a memory that will be forever cherished. I doubt that after last night nothing will change about us. Please prove me wrong with this. Trust is such a matter that is so hard to build. I’ve been so dumb in my past for giving trust to the wrong people. Please don’t make me commit the same mistake. We’ve been good friends for a year and a half. I don’t want to lose the trust and friendship. This circumstance is just a proof that change is the only permanent thing in this world. Don’t worry, I’m okay. Trust me when I say I’m okay and so as when I make promises to you. Rest assured that with my utmost capability I will be keeping them. Also, I promise that nothing will change between me and the girls who told you those hypotheses. Thank you for the trust you gave me all this time. I feel grateful for it and I will definitely not put it in vain. All of you are so good to me I don’t want to risk the friendship and besides I am looking forward to have you and the girls in my life for seven years or more. J I want all of you to be with me through the rest of my life. I want to let you know that to have you read this letter takes a lot of courage in me to let you know what I am really feeling about you. I hope I am having wrong predictions about me and you after this. This is not a goodbye letter, okay? Don’t make it that way. I know my limitations. Like I always say, “I am always here and I will still be”.

 PATHway.