I’m scared you kill me. You have already killed my Nana, and the last thing she wanted was for me or my sister to go through what she did.
I can remember it all crystal clear. Constantly falling ill and feeling very nauseous. It just wasn’t right!
Mum reassured me, and booked an appointment at the doctors. Blood tests were taken for examinations and several weeks later I had many scans.
12th December 2010. I was diagnosed with Leukaemia. Mum and I just broke down into streams of tears. Little did I know what was about to come at me.
At Yorkhill Children’s Hospital the nurses and doctors were all extremely sympathetic and kind-hearted. Waking up on the hospital bed was very strange. All I could remember was being told I had 5-8 months left of my life. So much medicine was being pumped into me, I was terrified!
Straight away with my family and friends help and support, charity events were held for Yorkhill and Leukaemia trusts. My parents also completed a skydive. I couldn’t have been more proud of them.
Within the first month we had already managed to raise over £3000! Ecstatic was a complete understatement!
Family were rotating who stayed with me at the hospital, and every Sunday Papa would bring my younger sister Bella to visit. It was amazing seeing my sister and it made me start to appreciate her so much more! The nurses took me off my drip for the hour Bella came to visit, so it didn’t frighten her.
The next day was undoubtedly the scariest day, especially for my family. My organs unexpectedly shut down and I was put into a coma for 3 days. My body couldn’t move, my mouth couldn’t open, but somehow I could hear everything that was said. The life support machine was the only thing keeping me alive.
Miraculously things started slowly getting better. A week after I came out from my coma, my chemo-therapy started. Sadly I lost most my curly locks, but at the end of the day if it was helping me recover I didn’t care.
The hospital donated me a wig but I refused to wear it. I just had to accept myself for who I was.
Not seeing my best friends everyday at school was one of the worst things, but they couldn’t find the time to visit me, as they were both at school revising, or sitting their exams. When Alyx, Lucy and Beckie burst through the Ward 9 door, I could’ve cried a river of joy! Secretly they had been planning lots and lots of charity events, including a charity non-uniform day at my school. The £12,378 cheque was handed to the nurses on my ward, and I just couldn’t believe someone would do that for me!
The next morning I woke up, with Alyx’s bitter cold hand on top of mine. She slept the whole night on a wooden chair, just to be with me. To my left there was a girl in the fresh white bed, who wasn’t there before. Nurse Bailie told me I should make an effort to speak to her, and help her through what she’s going through.
Last night something awful happened. Sadly Victoria fell into a deep sleep. I refused to let go of her hand. Then they turned off the life support machine. This inspired me so much, and I wanted to beat my cancer for Victoria and my Nana. I wanted to show cancer who’s boss.
My illness started taking a turn for the worst. Pain was unbearable and I was once again being kept alive by a machine. I couldn’t eat, and I couldn’t sleep. It was awful.
Being told I wouldn’t make it through the night were the words I did not want to hear. But unfortunately I did. 6 months of fighting and staying strong, had resulted in nothing. I could physically feel my body weakening.
I will be safer in heaven.
