Burning Truth

We all have them inside of us. They're just aching to come out. When they do come out, they just burst out without any warning. They just come out. Sometimes we use them on purpose. We use them one everybody, our family, our friends, best friends, but mostly on ourselves.

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Why does everything have to be so complicated? I don't even understand why life is so difficult. Being in all AP classes, being in band, and every other extracurricular I do, I don't even have time to sleep. Why couldn't I be dumb? I could use a nap right about now. I still have so much work to do though. Too much work-I always wonder how these things will help me with my future life. Math, for example, is just there to mess with me. The only things I really had to learn are: addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Seriously, why do they teach us this stuff anyway? It's like I cram all of these things in my brain. I struggle to make space for all of these things. I eventually stuff all of these ideas in my head just to realize I forgot everything the next day-for one girl to do. How can they expect one student to learn all of these subjects if one teacher and teach them all? I can't even focus, all I can think of is: sleep, sleep, SLEEP.

I'm so tired. Finally the tired in my body possesses me like a ghost, so I fall limp on the bed. Before I close my eyes, I can see the time: 2:45. Once my eyes are closed, it's like I am transported to another world, another state of mind. I think I can just stay here for hours. It's so peaceful, and I have no worries in my head. My mind is usually bombarded with chaotic thoughts. All of those chaotic thoughts are erased like they were never there, and then I start to hallucinate.

In my "hallucination", I can see Connor. He is my best friend in the whole wide world. He is my other half, the peanut to my butter, the heart to my ache, the yin to my yang, and the lies about my truth. I love him like a brother.

I see him running up to me. Just when I notice that the light catches his face perfectly. "Stop!" I yell almost immediately after I see it.

Almost immediately (like a soldier or a trained dog), he stops and yells "Why?" back to me.

"That is you right Connor?"

"Who else? I am the one and only, all mighty Connor!"

"Good! It would've been weird and awkward if you were some random pedophile." After I say this, I start running up to him, because I am tired of yelling back and forth.

Once I get closer to him, he opens up his arms showing his comfy-looking sweater. I run into him. The impact of my hug was so powerful that it pushes him back a little bit.

"So what were you saying about a pedophile?"

"Well the pedophile is probably Robin."

"I couldn't agree with that more. There is something in his mind, like a worm, that's infecting his brain, or it is in control of his brain telling him what to say." Do you see why I love this guy so much? He is on my level.

"I have another question though Ms. Rivers. Why did you want me to stop?" He says as he points his finger into the air.

"The light was catching your face so perfectly. It made your eyes sparkle making them look like a vivid blue. Your perfectly golden brown hair shining with the sun. Your hair was placed so perfectly; it was just a little over your eyelids. Your lips in a perfectly curved into a smile making your cheeks the perfect target for the light to hook on, and create a glow on your pale white skin"

"That whole sentence couldn't have been better put. I mean I am pretty flawless right?" Then he flips his hair as if he were Justin Bieber or Drake Bell. He does it so flawlessly though.

We both start laughing. At that moment I hear my name, and Connor's name. I can recognize the voice.

Just then, I feel everything slip away. I can feel everything come back. I can only think chaotically, as if my mind is a vacuum and everything is coming back. I open my eyes just to see that it is 3:00.

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I feel like everything is falling apart. My life isn't what it used to be. I'm not who I was just a month ago. People are getting closer and closer to figuring it out. I feel like I am just going to be devoured from the inside out. Devoured by what? By lies.

-Skylar