The You And I Wars

Chapter 4 - Socks

Leanne Avery flung her daughter’s bedroom door open so that Sam shrieked a little and dropped her phone onto her bed. Leanne poked her head into the room, her eyes darting around suspiciously.

“Mom, what are you doing? You scared me to death.”

Noah had jumped as well when Sam’s mom attacked the door. Leanne noticed him for the first time, sitting in the corner at Sam’s sandalwood desk, and smiled at him. “Oh, hello, hun. Noah, right?”

He nodded and probably would have given one of his oddly formal greetings if Leanne hadn’t proceeded to plow through Sam’s room, lifting her daughter’s bed spread, opening her drawers and peering into each one.

“Mother, for the last time, what are you doing?”

It wasn’t like Leanne to pry, and it wasn’t as though Sam hadn’t told her that Noah was coming over. Despite her peculiarity, Leanne was, as Sam liked to call her, a deist-mom extraordinaire. She did all the work she needed to on Sam at a young age, teaching her right from wrong and how to shampoo her hair, etcetera, and once Sam was old enough to function as a semi-adult, Leanne allowed her to be her own person. So what is she hunting for?

“Oh, I can’t find my file folder,” she said absently, rifling through Sam’s closet, underneath Sam’s collection of sneakers. “The blue one with the multi-colored tabs.”

“It’s not in my toilet, mom.” Sam groaned as Leanne lifted the back of the bowl and peered inside anyways. “It’s not in my room at all. Why would it be in here?”

“Because I can’t find it anywhere. So I figured I’d check everywhere before I blame it on extraterrestrials.” Leanne straightened up and frowned, pushing her straggled hair back into its messy bun. Even though hers was a coppery red, she and Sam had such similar mannerisms that it made them look alike. She sighed and her shoulders slumped. “I am the worst attorney in the world, aren’t I?”

Sam grinned at her mom. “It’s in the car.”

Leanne turned a suddenly and dramatically somber face at her only daughter, walked towards her with slow, deliberate steps, grabbed Sam’s face between her hands, and planted a kiss on her forehead. “You have just made my labor pains worth it,” she said. Then she straightened up and leaned one hand against Sam’s dresser, trying to look casual, but succeeding only in awkwardness. “I wouldn’t have come in if I remembered Noah would be here,” she said, looking over at Sam’s guest with a twinkle in her eye. “So what are you guy up to?

“Nothing,” Sam said firmly.

“You making out?” She waggled her eyebrows. “You doing it in here? You know? It?”

“Mother!” Sam stood up, her cheeks flaming, and ushered an objecting Leanne out of the room. “I’ll run away from home,” Sam said, seriously considering it. She closed the door behind her parental unit and turned the lock.

“Make sure you use protection,” Leanne shouted through the wood.

Mortified wasn’t the word. Sam wished it wasn’t her house so she could have made an excuse and slipped out and never come back ever again. And, even worse, Noah was laughing, sitting at her desk with her iPod in his hands.

“You find pleasure in my misery, don’t you?” Sam asked as she plopped down on her bed, rubbing her face so that it would stop burning.

“I like your mom,” he said. “She’s the complete opposite of mine, though.”

“Your mother seems very… proper.”

“That’s a good way of putting it.” Noah got that faraway look on his face for just a moment. He snapped back into the room and held up the iPod. “How does this work?”