BORED (a BBC Sherlock and Psych fan fiction)

It was noon in Santa Barbara when Shawn Spencer burst through the doors of the police department, followed by his best friend Gus.

    "Yellow, all my stiff peeps. McNab, nice tie, Lassie, your hair looks...like it usually does, and Juliet, you look absolutely amazing," he said. Gus groaned as he hefted Shawn's three grocery bags full of pineapples over his shoulder.

   "Shawn, they're heavy. I don't wanna do this, Shawn."

    "Well, if I don't eat lunch, I'll starve. And if I starve, I'll die. And if I die, then the world will be 78% less amazing. We wouldn't want that, now would we?" he asked Gus, who sighed. Juliet stood up from her desk, distressed. Shawn didn't see it.

    "Hello, my beautiful girlfriend. Did you hear that? I'm not single anymore! I'm happier than you, and you, and you, and especially you-"

    "Shawn!" Juliet interrupted. He turned to her, stroking the stuffed monkey he held in his hands. "Don't act so happy yet. The most wanted criminal in the country escaped jail."

   "I'll have him by the end of the day so I can flaunt it to Lassie. Get it? Got it? Good."

   "Shawn," Juliet sighed. "I'm afraid he is no longer in the U.S. From what our source tells us, it looks like Dylan Dooley is escaped to the United Kingdom."

   "Crap. If that's the case, then I'm going to need to return my lunch of pineapples," Shawn said as he gestured to Gus, "and buy fish and chips. Then I'll solve it by tomorrow morning."

   "Shawn, we're going to need to hire another consultant. One that knows London."

   "I've seen Pride and Prejudice and Doctor Who. I have plenty of knowledge. For example, when Keira Knightley is flying in the TARDIS, she always uses a british accent and carries a Sonic Hammer. We'll start there, Gus."

   Gus coughed. "Shawn, first of all, Keira Knightley was in Pride and Prejudice. Plus, the Doctor uses a Sonic Screwdriver, not a hammer."

   "You see," Shawn said. "This is why I love having a geek as a friend."

    "This consultant is a little prodigious. I follow his blog, The Science of Deduction."

    "Prodigious? Man, Jules, you make it sound like this guy's some sort of Tony Stark or something."

   Jules sighed. "Shawn, you, me, Lassiter, and Gus are flying to London tonight to meet this consultant."

Gus whimpered. "But I don't like flying."

  Shawn pointed toward the door. "C'mon, Gus. Let's go pack and see if we can fit all of my lovely pineapples into a carry-on."

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Hello, my lovely bunch of coconuts! This is a fan fiction I am going to have SO FLIPPING MUCH FUN WRITING. (nudges @childofthesea ). I don't own any movie titles, or any characters in this story. I disclaim all items that belong to BBC or other companies. But I do own this story, so DON'T PLAGIARIZE. If you know what's good for you. Cuz it isn't. It's illegal and bad and mean.

Thanks for reading! I'll update soon!