The Diary of a Teenage Anorexic

Chapter One,

October 31st, 2011. Monday. 21:31. My Bedroom.

Dear Diary,                                            

                  Who knew it could be so hard? I truly never knew. People made it look so easy. They said food never appealed to them. Lies. I swear they were lies. I'm always hungry, and the pain is almost unbearable. Its like having your stomach pulled out. I just say it's cramps to cover it up. It's not like I could say 'Oh, it's just because i'm anorexic, no worries.' Yeah, I'm sure i'd still have friends after that. No one would want to be friends with the freak girl with the eating disorder. It's better kept a secret. But I think my friends are getting curious when I don't buy any food at lunch. Their always like 'Why arent you eating anything Duss?' and i'm sure the excuse 'I'm not hungry' is gonna wear out soon.

I'm so dissapointed in myself.I'm not supposed to eat. Isn't that the whole point in being anorexic? But I did eat, and it wasn't even healthy. It was a chocolate muffin. 360 Calories. Have you any idea how much excercise that would take to burn off? Plus I had a mini bottle of soda. 70 calories. Even worse. There was so much sugar in it. Then at dinner tonight me and my mother had an arguement because I wouldn't eat all the food that she cooked. She forced me to eat half of it. I felt so ill after it, but I didn't say anything. She's already starting picking up on my eating habbits at home, but she thinks i'm eating pizza everyday for lunch. I'm scared to tell her I don't eat alot, but she would start forcing me to eat. I just can't. Maybe I should just be bulimic. It would be alot easier than starving myself. Its so painful! But then people would hear me vomiting. Ugh! Nothing works out for me! I wish my life was simple. I wish I had the perfect life. A life where I was skinny, where I could eat as much as I wanted, without worrying. If only...