The Diary of a Teenage Anorexic

The Diary of a Teenage Anorexic Chapter Two

November 5th, 2011. Saturday. 14:34. Family Bathroom.

Something I have realised lately, is that I have no self-control. I don't even skip meals anymore. I used to skip breakfast and lunch. Everyday, without fail. Now I just can't get enough of food. It's horrible! The things that run through my head when I'm eating. There's that saying 'A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips' its everywhere! The receptionist in my school has it printed out, with it stuck on her wall, where I can see it every time I walk past. It's the same with the first-aider, she has it on her wall too. So whenever I have to go to first-aid, its the first thing I see. It's like everything else goes black, and the poster Is the only thing I can see. Like its one of those big screens that they have in New York, that light up. Plus all the Tumblr pages that are Pro Ana. Those are so triggering, but I don't care... I deserve the pain. I can't cut my wrists though, because I don't have any long sleeved t-shirts, and my mother would wonder why I suddenly changed all my bracelets from my right wrist to my left. So I started cutting my stomach. The blood gives me... I don't know... Confidence? Confidence in knowing that what I'm doing is right. I wonder what people would think if I told someone about what I do... I've spoke to people on my Pro Ana twitter, about it. There are some people who knew someone who killed theirselfs because a person from school found their pro ana Twitter and saw a picture that the girl had poster of her stomach, but it had her face in it... She forgot to put her account on private. I don't blame her for killing herself. I would do the same thing.

Anyway... I had to go shopping with my mother today. It was hell! We went to all these food shops, and wherever we went, there would be someone eating something that was practically a heart attack in a packet. I don't know how someone could just walk into McDonald's and order a large quarter pounder with cheese, large fries, 2 brownies, and a large coke. And at the size the person was, well let's just say its no surprise...