lethal love • jungkook

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Chapter Three

The seconds, minutes and hours of yesterday's time stretched into eternity as I waited for j.j.k to answer me.

Today I almost gave up waiting.

I am sitting in my bed, thoughts racing about the person whose words got me struck.

I don't know. Maybe I wasn't supposed to know who it really is.

A small, barely audible noise brings me back into reality, the brightness of the white envelope that my eyes are drawn too coming into sight.

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dear hyejin,

I don't think my intelligence can be compared to yours in any way, we are too different to be even close to one; you contrast so strongly with me but most obviously with every one else.

The divergence is not only caused by me not being female, or by you not being male, it's not our gender, not the way that God has created and shaped us.

The issue lays deep in our heart and in the fact, that we both seem to have a different approach on life and death; on feelings and pain.

I dare say, this tingle you have, it is caused by the purity of feelings, the mystery, the magic. I must admit I have it too. However, in my body this tingle is much more than just a hint of pain or bliss.

And it also grows stronger with every word that I address to you, Hyejin. Effortless, I agree with that.

You, flesh and blood, whose existence almost entirely is dedicated to the matter.

Me, a vestige, a personality, whose past existence almost entirely was and still is sacrificed for emotions, for that bliss.

You are right, it is ironical. But most importantly and oddly, you; the one who's abandoned all illusion from their life; you are the one that strengthens my very own ones.

Our mystery remains, Hyejin.

And so do illusions, even if you want them to disappear.

Do you feel them creeping up on you? Do you feel the obscurity?

yours truly,

j.j.k
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Or maybe it was the only thing left for me to do.

Maybe those letters were the only thing left for me, the one thing that fulfilled me in an new, strange way.

Have you eaten today?, I hear my mother ask as she stands at my doorframe, her head peeking into my room.

I nod. So does she.

Then she leaves.

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j.j.k,

I am grateful for your words, j.j.k. I really am, even if you are doubting me this very moment.

I have to confess, that I don't think the divergence is something negative. Not in any way. Our two entirely different approaches shouldn't be compared; we, ourselves shouldn't be compared. You are contradicting yourself in spite of of already stating that exact same fact.

Why should we always compare? Why should we always distinguish? Why can't we find a way to make both work? Shouldn't we take glance at it complimentarily?

More and more I am achieving a better overview of your; male, emotional, delusional, imaginary thoughts, beautiful words.

j.j.k, what is your name? How did your "loved" ones once call you?

I do feel the obscurity, j.j.k.

I am strengthening your illusions, your bliss, your feelings and at the same time you make the same ones arise in me.

Isn't that a coincidence?

I ask you to explain, not even my rationality reaches that deep into our being. Your feelings, my pain; we both make them look so beautiful and hypnotizing for each other.

Isn't that a coincidence?

hyejin
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--please comment and vote and tell me what you think! I hope you like how I make the chapters even though they are rather short. Bye 💓