Begin Again ▷ Jared Cameron

THREE

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THREE; HOMECOMING

     THE TEENAGE REBELLION STAGE.

     It was safe to say that Penelope was far from delighted when she came home. She had been doing everything in her self-restraint to not think of her mother, which was proving to be ineffective.

     Nightmares of Sarah were flooding her mind and she would awake in a pool of sweat, her eyes flashing back and forth to regain consciousness. After refusing to fall asleep again, she snuck out to head down to the beach. She listened to the waves crash against the shore until Jake started to call her name, wondering where the hell his sister had went after he found her empty bed.

     If she was feeling particularly sad, she would change her course of direction to Jared's home. His mother would let her in with a beaming smile, knowing that she was the reason her son had been so happy these days.

     Jared and Penelope didn't say much. He simply wrapped his arms around her while she buried her head into the crook of his neck, allowing the tears to escape.

     Rachel returned to Washington State a week after Penelope's homecoming. Rebecca stayed a bit longer, although she was miserable from missing Solomon. Eventually, it was only Penelope, Jake, and Billy. Jake was gone most of the time because of his job, which didn't help. Penelope had never felt so alone in her entire life. She wanted her mother but she knew that dream was far out of her reach.

     "Pen?" Billy rounded the corner, wheeling into the living room. His daughter was sat on the couch, feet propped upon the coffee table. The television was playing a random sitcom but she didn't look like she was watching any of it. "It's Sue Clearwater. She was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with them tonight." He held the phone to his chest, his heart clenching at Penelope's dull expression.

     "Sure."

     "Okay," he spoke carefully. He paused, ready to say something else, but turned around and went back to the kitchen. He wanted to ask a doctor what was wrong with Penelope. She was so full of life and her happiness always brought him joy, but now she was the opposite of the girl she had once been.

     Penelope twisted her head to check if her father had disappeared and shut off the television. She slipped on a pair of brown sandals, a hand-me-down from Rebecca, and opened the front door, sliding out with ease. She blinked twice as she walked down the steps, unsure of where she was headed.

     She could walk to Jared's again, but he would tell Jake. She didn't know why she felt so unhappy with herself.

     First, she came home to a house full of painful memories. Billy hadn't even bothered to redecorate.

     Second, she couldn't pursue anything useful until she completed her school work, which would take years to finish.

     Third, the world she knew when she was younger was nothing like the world she knows now.

     Maybe it was selfish for her to become so depressed. Some people never wake up from their comas. Was she such a bad person to want to sleep forever? A dreamless sleep. A repose where there were no images of her mother's dead body.