my life tail

empty thoughts

these little tails will be filled with my empty thoughts that I can never share with anyone, because no one will listen to my rambling. Mostly cause I think better when i'm not rushed to finish my sentences, true or not true is what may think on your own about these tails. My life or not my life is what you can consider by your self as well. . .    

Today was good but being with him even though i'm not with his is. . . difficult you could say. I remember looking at him and liking him, but then I realized that he was in high school and wouldn't want anything to do with a middle school girl. So I made my self think he was weird, made my own flaws for him you could say.  And now that were both in high school and we found out that we both liked each other back then we mad it work........ sword of?

 but  then the thought of"now hes 18" struck us and so it ended up not working out, then we didn't talk. But then we did and then we didn't. Now hes ok with it, I just came to a realization that. . . . 

I could have talked it out about the hole 18 thing and worked something out

I could have gone to prom with him even though I probably would have hated being there

I could have gone with him to the funeral of his best client he had but we broke up so it made it awkward, but I still could have gone to be there for him

theirs just chances being thrown at me and i'm not taking the hint to go for it, suck it up and just do what I gotta do. Those chances are not going to be there when he goes to collage next year, when i'm home schooled next year. All my chances are in this summer of 2016, and I wont be able to get them back. I wont be able o get him back. . . . . . . . . .  Everything is in the now always no reason to dowel on the past, even though that's what i'm doing. 

So I guess the lesson in this is live in the now and only think of the good that'll come out of it, unless theirs more bad involved that's not worth the trouble.