The Doctor Diaries

A what?

"Hey Pri," I chirp into my phone, double tasking while checking all the pre-op labs for tomorrow's cases.

"Girlie, I need your help."

"What's up?"

"You know that wire cutting thingy you use to cut those big metal rods in trauma patients with broken pelvises?" She questions, getting straight to the point.

"A what?" I pause my rapid clicking on the screen in front of me, interest peaked on where she's going with this.

"You know... that really huge one that's like a sterile bolt cutter," she replied.

"You mean a Brubaker?" I question.

"Yeah, a Brubaker! Where can I get one of those?"

"There should be one on the ortho cart in the OR. Bottom shelf near the traction pin tray."

"Sweet. Thanks!" She replies, disconnecting before I can ask the obvious question: What in the world does she need a Brubaker for?

Priya Gupta is one of the urology residents. We bonded over the hell that was our year as general surgery interns along with the few awesome female residents in a sea of guys: Vivienne Schnelle, Kristen Rider and Zoe Yang.

Pri is the quintessential Indian "golden child" - her mothers term, not mine. She's a smart, beautiful doctor, recently engaged to (you guessed it) a smart, handsome lawyer.

Viv is our future plastic surgeon - we all have a list of "favors" for her when she gets out into practice. Kristen is a general surgeon. She's our social planner on the off day that we can all actually get out of the hospital. The girl has a liver of steel and can drink you under the table without even trying, a skill she attributes to her Wisconsin roots. Zoe is doing her residency in neurosurgery which has sentenced her to being in training for the better part of 10 years.

The five of us met during orientation on our first day of intern year. Our friendship was inevitable. In a room of 47 guys in black suits, and a handful of older women with husbands and kids at home, we were the only single girls there. Although it's a rare occasion for us all 5 of us to get together at the same time, went we do, we make it count. When Pri got engaged last summer we all flew out to Vegas post-call for the craziest 36 hour celebration we could cram in. I think I can remember about 2 of them which was about how long the flight there took.

The best part of our friendship is that even if we hardly see each other, we all understand each other on a level that few others do. We know what it's like to work 36 hour shifts, operate while chronically sleep deprived and how hard it is to maintain relationships with anyone (or anything) that isn't our job. Between us, there is no judgement that I haven't brushed my hair in over a week, or that 90% of Viv's meal consist of stale bagels from the break room, or that Pri goes days without actually seeing her fiancé despite the fact that they live together. It has really been amazing to have them all, especially since I was never the type of girl to have a lot of girlfriends growing up.

Grabbing my bag and turning the lights off in the resident office, I head home for the night. Chris's on call tonight which means tomorrow will be an absolute disaster. I love the guy but he is a giant black cloud when he's on call.  He holds the record for the most consults involving pus on a single call night.

As I make may way out of the hospital and towards the parking structure, my phone chimes with an incoming text from Pri.

Best/worst consult ever!  You'll never look at a Brubaker the same again :) Hope you can make it to drinks tomorrow!

Friday nights are our attempt at seeing each other outside of work each week.  It's a standing date at the wine bar down the block from the hospital.  We show up when we can to catch up - some times only one or two cane make it - but it's a tradition that we've kept going for 3 years now.

I can only imagine what kind of story Pri would have for us this week.  I may have the most gruesome consults (let's be honest, a mangled extremity is never pretty) but Priya always wins when it come to the awkward, bizarre and just plain disgusting.

A few months ago, she had a guy in the ER who came in with a toothpick stuck in his ureter that she had to "retrieve."  The real shocker was that it was the guys 6th trip to the ER in the past year with an inanimate object shoved up his pee-hole, all of which he claimed to have no idea how they got there.  I don't have a dick but even the thought of sticking something up one makes me cringe in pain.  If this new consult really can top that one, I can't wait to hear it.  Lucky for me, I'm on call Saturday, so although I won't have more than a drink or two, Friday night drinks with the girls was in the cards this week.

Should be a memorable way to start the weekend.