"50 push-ups to everyone but Alex." I heard my coach say. Oh I'm Alex by the way I have long blonde hair blue eyes and I'm really skinny but I'm not Anorexic.... We'll not anymore. I'm the flyer at an all star cheer team. The bases just dropped me witch is why everyone is doing push ups.
About a year ago I was dating a guy named Adam I was a good weight I had lots of friends and I was a base in cheerleading. I had a good life nice parents nice house. Now your probably wondering why I would go anorexic if I had "such a good life." Oh don't worry I'll tell you it gets worse.
"Beep beep beep beep beep." My alarm clock shrieked for me to get up and go to my"50 push-ups to everyone but Alex." I heard my coach yell. Oh I'm Alex by the way I have long blonde hair blue eyes and I'm really skinny but I'm not Anorexic.... We'll not anymore. I'm the flyer at an all star cheer team. The bases just dropped me witch is why everyone is doing push ups.
About a year ago I was dating a guy named Adam I was a good weight I had lots of friends and I was a base in cheerleading. I had a good life nice parents nice house. Now your probably wondering why I would go anorexic if I had "such a good life." Oh don't worry I'll tell you it gets worse.
"Beep beep beep beep beep." My alarm clock shrieked for me to get up and go to my first year as junior student. I rolled out of bed to start getting ready for the day. I went into the bathroom first to brush my teeth and wash my face. I pulled out the clothes I bought for the first day of school, it was a pair of high waisted bleach washed shorts and a white cropped muscle tee that had a black infinity sign on it. I straightened my hair and put on my teenage dirtbag Beanie and did my makeup the way I always do. I looked for my white converse, finally finding them I went downstairs grabbed a granola bar and drove to school.
The first person I saw was Adam he was waiting at the door to great me and give me a big kiss, but it was different then usual it seemed like he was holding back. "Is something wrong?" I asked
"Uhm no I'm just am uhm a little stressed."
"We'll can you tell me what's making you stressed?" I asked
"Uhh I have to go."
I got home and decided to text Adam. "Hi<3" almost immediately. I got a respond from Adam "can I come over I have something to tell you..."
"Uh yeah sure."
"I'll be there in 5 bye."
"Love you bye." I responded. I was so worried what he was going to say he was acting so weird earlier. I heard a knock on the door and let Adam in, I started to lean in for a kiss but he dodged it and hugged me instead. "Okay uhm we'll wanna come sit down in the living room?" I asked
"No... I can't come in your ganna hate me after I tell you this."
"I'm sure I won't hate you but I guess we can sit outside, what's wrong?" I asked even though I thought I knew what he would say.
"Well, when I was in Jamaica I met this girl...." My eyes were already watering
"And?..."
"She invited me to a party and... I screwed up.... I'm really sorry." I felt a pain and heaviness in my chest.
"Oh..." I felt sick I ran in side and puked. I could hear Adam outside the door. I couldn't even face him right now I was just looking at myself in the mirror what's wrong with me I thought to my self I was balling my eyes out. I felt like I just got stabbed in the heart.
"Lexi I'm sorry. I know your not ganna forgive me but I really am sorry. I just hope someday you can forgive me enough to be at least friends..."
"I... Can't talk right now..... Adam." It hurt to even say his name.
I woke up in the bathroom floor at 2:30 am. I worked my way to my bed flopped down and didn't move.
My alarm went off and I threw it a crossed the room. I wasn't going to school. I wasn't going anywhere. I put in my headphones listened to sad music and cried my self back to sleep
I woke up but I didn't actually wake up. I stayed I didn't move I wanted to die,Adam was the first person I ever loved. Why did he like me am I fat? Is my hair weird? Does he like different race!? Why?! I texted him I just wanted to know what she looks like. "Adam I just want to know what she looks like." He sent me a picture..... She's it she's a skinny ass tan fake looking girl with a big bum.
Of course... I need to be a tan skinny girl with long blonde hair for him to like me. I'm fat and ugly. Nobody will ever like me I don't even think my parents like me, I'd thought to myself. I was probably just a failed abortion. I was at my lowest point, I wanted to die.
