heartbroken [k.th]

h e a r t b r e a k # 7

Taehyung: jia

Taehyung: why are you sad?

Me: it's nothing important

Taehyung: it makes you cry, so it must be important

Me: it's really nothing

Taehyung: if it's "nothing", why can't you tell me then?

Me: ...I just don't like myself, that's all

Taehyung: "that's all"

Taehyung: jia, why don't you like yourself?

Me: because, what's there to like?

Me: I'm not beautiful, I'm not smart, I'm not talented, I'm not a nice person

Me: why would I like myself if I don't possess the qualities to be liked

Taehyung: jia...

Taehyung: "beautiful" is an opinionated word, there is no such thing as actually being beautiful. You can find things beautiful, but that doesn't mean it is.

Taehyung: you get the highest marks in our grade, how can you say you're not smart?

Taehyung: you are a nice person, otherwise you would've never helped me

Me: but it's not good enough

Me: it never is

Me: I'm never good enough

Me: do you know how it feels to be never good enough?

Me: to be dragged down even when you tried your hardest?

Me: to be never noticed by the ones you love?

Me: to hear over and over again that you're a piece of shit, and not only from others but also from yourself?

Taehyung: no, I don't

Taehyung: but I'm willing to try to understand it for you

Taehyung: I will never fully understand how you feel because I don't experience it

Taehyung: I've experienced other kinds of pain

Taehyung: but you already knew that because I accidentally texted you because of that pain

Taehyung: but I'm going to be honest with you; I'm grateful that I accidentally texted you

Taehyung: you kind of kept my thoughts away from my heartbreak

"stop this, taehyung. you can't get attached to me. i'll only hurt you in the end", she thought