My Life, As It Goes

Chapter One

I remember his words, "I'll never ignore you, I could never hate you, I will never let you go, I will always love you. I will never cheat on you."

Were those all lies?

Does he expect me to sit here and let him cheat on me, lie to me, use me, and intimidate me?

A year ago I never would have put up with this shit, I would have dumped his ass without hesitation. Which might be time to do...

I see Dean in the tiny town of Morrisburg, with a couple of whores I certainly didn't approve of.

"'Washing the car'? More like 'threesome' twat." I text him. He had told me that he couldn't have a visit with his daughter today because he was "washing the car".

No answer.

"And you're never seeing Fira again your family legit just told me you're doing hard drugs. You lost us IM NOT GIVING YOU ANOTHER FUCKING CHANCE IM DONE WITH YOU. Happy now? That you're a copy of Kendra? I hope you are because you just lost the thing that should've been most important to you and you're going to hate yourself for doing the shit you did." I had no shame about double texting.

"To bad I'm not doing any hard drugs but what ever fuck off." He answers. I cringe at the improper use of "to". I roll my eyes at the lie in his text. He's been doing Salvia, Molly, Speed, and God knows what else. I know he abuses Marijuana, I don't care if he smokes a bowl here or there, he's just never sober and that's when I told him to stop. For our daughter's sake, and he didn't listen.

" I will you fucking cheater, asshole, liar, and fucking copy. I don't have time for twats like you who use people for sex." I respond. I should probably mention, he dropped out of my life when I was two months pregnant. When we stopped having sex. After the first ultrasound. He started to ignore me. He'd get mad at me for asking for his time. I got really depressed, I was so used to having him as my crutch, I had to learn how to live without him. It was hard, but I did it. He stopped hanging out with me to hang out with sluts. This girl that I mentioned in the text named Kendra, she's a bad influence. She changes people, makes people her acolyte, and that is exactly what she had done to Dean. I fell in love with Dean, not Kendra, and the Dean I knew was long gone.

"I've never cheated and I've never used anyone for sex." Wow! Two lies in one sentence! I'm sorry but if you're hiding the fact that your with sluts from me, you're cheating. If you're having sex with five other girls while in a relationship, you're cheating. If you're hiding important things from me you're cheating. He used me for sex, otherwise he wouldn't have dropped out after he learned our daughter was real.

"So is that why you dropped out of my life once I got fat? Hm." He can't fuck around with my head and get me to believe him anymore. I obviously put my trust in the wrong place, and I don't intend to do that again.

"I didn't that's when you started bitching at me and blaming me for shit non stop but I'm done talking now goodbye and I would still like to see Sapheira." First thing I do is cringe at how he spelled his daughter's name. It's spelled Saphira. He can't even spell his own kid's name right! But there is another bloody lie in the sentence. I only started bitching at him after Saphira was born, because he was not being the Dad he promised me to be. He was Deadbeat, avoiding responsibility. He said he would be there to help, be there for his kid, help with finances, be involved.

And he was nothing he promised.

"I don't have a child by the name of 'Sapheira' in my care. And no that's when you fucked right off because you were ahem 'busy' all the time. And this lying to me? Doesn't earn you visits." I give my final word.

Breaking it off with him, was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I Instantly felt better. Better about myself, better about my situation, better about being a parent to my three month old. Better about everything. I was finally happy. I wasn't being weighed down by his emotional abuse. Dean would never lay a finger on anyone. But he certainly lays out the words, and they hurt. He intimidates you to get what he wants from you, guilt trips you to do what he wants to do instead of what you want to do, and that's just not healthy. I was finally free. I can finally be happy without feeling guilty. I wasn't worried about Saphira not having a Dad, being as cute as she is, it won't be hard for me to find a new relationship. Dean can fuck all the whores he wants now, because I no longer give a fuck. I'm not like him, I don't dump my real friends for fake ones. I Instantly hit up my best friend, Kaitlyn.

"I broke it off with him over text. They said he's been doing hard drugs." I text her. My plan before the argument was to break up with him to his face, but I just couldn't hold back my anger at that point.

"Oh yea? Just don't let it get to you, if he's going to be a childish asshole he doesn't deserve you or the kid, he has to step up and stop being immature first." She responds.

"No matter what he isn't going to save himself. Ffs he can't even spell his daughter's name properly." I was still mad at him, though I was starting to cool down because I was talking to Kaitlyn.

"As I said, he has to step up and be a man if he wants to be in the child's life, if not then he's not worth it."

"This is really funny though. Oh shit she's not going to hold onto me anymore better redeem myself looooool."

"Yea immaturity is amazing."

"Seriously I don't give a fuck anymore, I'm blowing his social life. He doesn't deserve friends."

"How are you going to do that? Don't do anything to get your kid taken."

"Facebook post, explaining what he's done, the truth, that kind of crap."

"Don't go too far, you don't want the kid taken away."

"Just explaining his crap, since his side of the story is full of shit."

Ladies and Gentleman, let the Drama begin.