I made my Wattpad profile when I was in middle school. I wrote this chapter when I was 15. I'm 16 now. After reading it again, I cringed to myself over 50 times. Then I deleted the whole thing and started over. That's because the way I write, act, and even think is completely different than when I first started writing this book. I forgot I had started this book until I received a really sweet comment on my book yesterday that gave me the courage to try my hand at writing again.
In fact, If you look in my bio, you'll notice that I say I'm 'African American' rather than stating that I'm black. That's because I couldn't bring myself to outright say " I'm black." I hated myself for the skin I was in. I resented God for having cursed ( I'm cringing again) me with my skin rather than making me a pretty white girl with long hair and different color eyes. I wanted to be desired the way I thought only white girls were. It was a painful time in my life. I cried myself to sleep as a part of my daily routine. Looking back on those days now, I laugh to myself.
There is nothing more beautiful to me than the skin I'm in. It's taken me 16 years to realize that my wide nose and kinky Afro aren't flaws, they're virtues, and that if boys don't desire me because of my skin color, than those aren't the boys for me anyways.
But I say all that to say that the way I think about beauty and self love is exactly the opposite of the way I used to. In fact, the way I think about almost EVERYTHING is different. The music I listen to is different. My career choice is different. Life ( and high school) shaped me into a different person than I thought I was.
And I think this time, I'm actually going to give this book thing a shot, because I think what I have to say is important. If people like my book, then good. If not, at least I have my own personal advice blog/diary. It's a win-win situation.
Anyways, I hope y'all are having a good day. Comment something so I can reply. I love talking to people.
Love and support,
Jaelin (jay-LIN)
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a Misunderstood Teen
Non-FictionThis may seem like just another All About Me book, but it's not. It's got all my deepest thoughts and funniest material in there. I'm a teenage screw up by day and writer by night, which means y'all are getting my 1 in the morning material, which is...
