How to Wedding

They stood, facing each other, ready to say the vows that would bond them until death did them part. From just outside, a man looked in through the keyhole.

"Oh, well imagine. As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor and I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words..." He turned to a small group of people near him, "What a beautiful wedding! And yes, but what a shame... what a shame the poor grooms bride is a whore..."

The doors flew open as he stepped in, red tail coat and top hat matching his cane.

"I'd chime in with a 'Haven't you people ever heard of closing a god damn door?' No, it's much better to face these kinds of things, with a sense of poise and rationality!" He bowed deeply, and the bride glared at him.

"Are you quite done Aleksia?" She asked.

"Indeed I am." He smiled and took a seat, "Do continue." He made a shooing motion.

"If anyone has any objections, please speak now or forever hold your peace." The pastor recited. Someone stood up, wearing a leather jacket and a dozen rings.

"It's not an objection, but the music sucks!" He called, pulling out a bass guitar. He was joined by a full entourage of band members. The pastor put on aviator shades, and continued,

"Now, I call you Man and Wife. Feel free to make-out." He stepped back as chairs were shoved to the side. Soon, an entire choreographed dance was taking place, following the bewildered, but nonetheless happy couple to their ride. A familiar man in a red tail coat opened the door for them,

"Mazel Tov!" Aleksia smiled, closing the door. The couple waved goodbye, and Aleksia spoke quietly into his radio.

"We're leaving now, get the street teams ready."

A/N: If I get Five Votes, I will make another 'How To' Story!