The Tiger

I give a tiger a bath

   I blinked about several hundred times, no way, but it was standing right there. The tiger cub emerged from the woods, it's head low. The poor things beautiful fur was shaggy and matted with dirt and blood. A large steel collar connected to a broken chain hung around its neck, looking heavy. I cautiously hold out my hand to the cub to sniff at. I felt ridiculous, the thing was no bigger than a full grown house cat, but my mother has always warned me to be careful around domesticated pets. I wondered what she would say about a wild tiger cub. The cat seemed cool with me, I was always like that with felines. I examined the steel collar, just a few latches. After a couple of failed attempts, I finally get the stupid thing off and throw it into the woods. The tiger turned a cuffed at me, as if saying thanks, that feels a heck lot better.

   "You know what? I think I'll call you Rusty." The tiger cuffed again as if in agreement.

   "Now, I'll get you home, wash you up, and give you a nice juicy steak, how does that sound to ya?" I pick up the cub and zip him up in my sweater, the cat letting out a muffled mew. Then I rushed home. Ever try giving a tiger cub a bath? I don't recommend trying this at home, kids. I rush into the washroom and run the water in the bathtub, thank gods my parents weren't home yet and my brother was off at a sleepover. I think they'll be more than a little concerned. Knowing that tigers are actually quite fond of water, so I wasn't that nervous. Man was I wrong. Within a couple of seconds, my arms were covered with countless claw marks and my t-shirt was in shredded up. 

   "You're lucky you're an endangered species" I mutter. Rusty didn't seem to care. Once he got settled in and realized that he actually liked water, and was now contently chewing the head off of the rubber duck as if he were a little angel, like he didn't just shred up my arms and shirt. He reminded me of my brother somehow. I got him out of the tub, dried him off, and gave him a nice frozen steak out of the deep-freeze downstairs. While Rusty attacked the deer meat, I went to my math homework. All right question one....zzzzzzzzzzzzz. I wake up to a sharp tap on the shoulder, and realize it was my mom back from work. She pointed over to Rusty, who somehow managed to get his paws on a ball of yellow yarn. 

   "Dear, explain to me why there is a tiger cub in the house" she said.