Flawed

i.

i. FLAWED .i

    I slightly tilted my head to the side, as I put on eyeliner on top lid of my right eye. My left, plain dark brown, eye focused on my reflection, being careful not to poke my pupil. After I finished, I observed myself, sighing as I dug in my make up bag for my curler and mascara. Slowly, but tightly, my eyelashes curled, folding themselves on the curler; I then coated my, now longer looking lashes, with mascara twice. For the finishing touch, like a routine, I pressed my red lipstick on my lip, coating it perfectly.

   I then just looked at my reflection, sighing, not pleased with myself. Admittedly, I wasn't that ugly, nor did I look like a Victoria secret model. My hair was plain straight, and when curled, it's just plain curled. Really nothing special; it's not the kind of wavy everyone magically has, but it's something I've gotten used to. I always questioned, though, how the people I see always seem to have the best clothes that you'd see celebrities wearing when they're dressed down. 

   My style, compared to theirs, is like trash. I can easily sport a sweatshirt and jeans, then converse that I've had for two years. Though, quite surely that if I had more money, Id probably be dressing myself like them. I shook my head, chuckling lightly at my thoughts. I need to stop dreaming. 

  With a rush, I closed my bedroom door shut, and headed towards the door and outside, where I'd be exposed to people who knew nothing about me. I was simply afraid of them; not in the sense of hiding in my room forever because they might attack me, but the fact that everyone was so different, I was almost afraid not to be liked. 

  I stepped outside, the sun blinding me almost immediately, illuminating my skin into a lighter color. As a promise, I was to meet up with my best friends at the park, unfortunately far from where I work, but close to my home. I strode down the streets, barely scanning my surroundings. Children running around, parents trying to catch up, it was almost too adorable to watch. I smiled to myself, admiring the sight before me.

  The busy streets of New York never gets old to me, even if I see it every single day of my life. I picked up the camera--I won it by joining a raffle; luck was on my side that day-- and snapped a picture of my sight before dragging my feet faster to get to the park. 

   As soon as I entered the oddly empty park, my eyes searched around for my four best friends. I've questioned myself why I've had friends like them, they were too amazing for my own good, but didn't bother myself too much. Maybe, I deserve them, at least. I was the definition of reserved, whereas they were bubbly and outgoing. With them, I felt like an outcast; yet I felt like I belong. It worked well.

   An all too familiar voice called my name, and my ear picked up almost immediately on where they were. They had laid out a picnic blanket, and brought the most unhealthy food. From where I stood, I can see desserts, and varies of chips. I felt unease; Am I supposed to eat like them? 

  Shaking the thought out my head, I danced my way to them, as they waved to me. I smiled, plopping down next to Megan. Paisley was taking more food out of a picnic basket, while Auh and Cassity were engaged on a small talk. "I can't stay long," I excused, "I need to get to work, you know how it works." 

  Megan nodded knowingly, handing me a plate so I could at least eat. I looked at the plate in her hand, and I scanned all their bodies. They weren't fat nor chubby. They were skinny, I wasn't. I shook my head, declining her offering. "No, thank you." 

  Cassity left Auh as she began to dig into her food, I sat in the corner, waiting for someone to start a conversation. They always start it; they always have the plans. Meanwhile, I go along. "Why aren't you eating, Alex?" Cassity questioned, "you love macaroons. I brought these for you."