Karakura Newspaper Headline
Written by: Hanatarou Yamaha
Criminal Cases Weekly:
"The infamous Grimmjow Jaegarjaquez and __________ (last name) are back in the news again. For the wrong reasons. Last week, Grimmjow and his future spouse got into a nasty argument, which led Grimmjow to kick her out of his car to pay the restaurant the fees that they had owed. Allegedly, Grimmjow brought up his future spouse's ex boyfriend, Ichigo Kurosaki, an ex criminal and leader of the Strawberry Slayers. As __________ left to pay the restaurant, she could not do it without Grimmjow being present to sign the form. She left out of frustration as Grimmjow refused to go pay with her, and started this horrible accident. It was getting late and as the seasons change, it would get darker outside at an earlier time. Grimmjow claims it was 3:00 pm and it looked like 5:00 pm. Grimmjow later purchased a small handgun and kept it with him at all times. After hanging out with a few friends, Sosuke Aizen and Zaraki Kenpachi, Grimmjow decided to leave and used Kenpachi's car to look for his finance. Grimmjow received a chilling phone call that his fiance was in an old house in the process of being raped by a few of Szayel's associates. Ulquiorra Cipher, Nnoitra Gilga, and Szayel Apporo Granz are all former members of Grimmjow's gang. Grimmjow drove as quick as he could to save his fiance, running stop lights and nearly crashing into cars and buildings. Upon arrival, Grimmjow crashed the car into the second floor of the house and brought out his handgun. Grimmjow fired one round to let the suspects know that he was here, and Ulquiorra was the first one to run downstairs. Ulquiorra had cell through the floorboards due to the house being partially burned and old, so he suffered a broken arm and a shattered femur. Ulquiorra was unarmed, but Grimmjow immediately shot him in the chest, rupturing his heart and ribs. Ulquiorra died immediately. Grimmjow then ran upstairs and fired a single round at another suspect, Nnoitra. Nnoitra did not die as soon as he was shot, as he was only shot in the arm. However, the gunshot wound went straight through his arm and into his stomach, killing him after three hours of trying to keep him alive at the hospital. Szayel had escaped but was later found hiding in a a cellar of a house a few blocks away. He was immediately taken to jail and his sentence awaits him. Fortunately, Grimmjow was able to reconcile with his fiance and removed her from the house. None of the men had penetrated her traditionally, she told us that they preferred to use their fingers instead. She was transported to a hospital so a rape kit may be provided for her. Grimmjow will not be penalized for shooting the perpetrators, or for crashing into the house. We are extremely happy to see the couple safe and sound, and they plan on being married in the next few weeks. Our team will be there to televise it, and security will be extremely tight. We wish this couple nothing but the best, and we will always cover their stories, big or small." -Hanatarou Yamada
