Small Talk

Headaches & Punishments

A small dilly-dally or a regret can turn to hell on earth in my home... I sit alone in my bathroom a lot when I want space. I also like to go out side... Sometimes it will be to hot for me to bear it... I sit alone for piece of mind and being calm... Cry when no ones watching... I hold my head a lot when the pain makes my ears ring... it doesn't happen often but when it does it stays that way for a long time... punishments, these are the things I hate most and could set off my life or just keep me more still and take me more out of existance I know she wouldnt care about how I felt of course I smile and nod and do what I'm told 'respect her'. I would smile and listen until she was done or try and walk off it only has become wrose.... I look down at my feet blistered up and red; my shoulders brused up and somewhat feels broken... its a sad thing to think on such a lovely day... I usually can't think often and lean on others who know what's going on to either calm me down or protect me in any way they can.. Its usually small things that can't say for myself because sometimes when she asks a question that would have been answered once before I'm silent and still. Its always been that way... My entire life has been surrounded by hate and misary that it can throw my life on track or make it stop entirely. I want it to go away but there are people in this world that would like me to never have this train stop but just to push through... I have a lot of support I just wish some were able to see what I see... I'll live for now